Cancellation Quest

be classy, this is a lady after all, start with your favorite pick-up line.

Just dont mention that her voice sounds like Fujiwara Hotaru, any hint of weabooness may freak her out and ruin your classy image

She may be flattered. Don't assume a girl's gonna freak out cuz a man has hobbies.

>be classy, this is a lady after all, start with your favorite pick-up line.

P-pickup lines? You've never used one before! You are practically the PARAGON of the PLATONIC, for Pete's sake!

>Just dont mention that her voice sounds like Fujiwara Hotaru, any hint of weabooness may freak her out and ruin your classy image

Noted. You will contain your BURNING PASSIONATE LOVE for the show while talking to her.

You slowly walk up to her and introduce yourself as the NEW GUY, explaining that you'll be starting work here TOMORROW. She introduces herself as Jessica Birch. After a brief period of AWKWARDNESS left by you trying to avoid bringing up her FAMILIAR voice, but like the SMOOTH OPERATOR you are, you follow up quickly.

You two discuss each other's interests, though she misinterprets your ENTIRELY SERIOUS statement about being a DEMONIC CRIME LORD as a joke or reference to some fandom she's unfamiliar with. You take a look at the CLOCK and see that if you don't get home soon, you'll be running LATE. As you leave, you compliment Jessica on her appearance in her uniform and get going.

Now that you've returned home with two actions remaining, what shall you do now?

- GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP, ending the DAY.
- Check your COMPLETE STATUS PAGE.
- Plan acts of VILLAINY for the next DAY.
- Ask your journal of EXPOSITION a single question.
- Consult Florian. She specializes in MINION MANAGEMENT, SHIPPING, and ENEMY INTEL.
- Work to obtain LEGITIMATE MONEY.
- Check your list of OBJECTIVES.
- Admire shrine grave site of Nonohara Miaka.
- Spend STAT POINTS (10).
- Other.

Consult Florian about hiring MINIONS

>Consult Florian about hiring MINIONS

You decide to take some time to have a discussion with Florian in regards to MINIONS. She seems  little PEEVED about something, but her personal life is of little concern to you.

She provides you with information regarding the MINIONS currently AVAILABLE. She also notes that with your current BASE OF OPERATIONS and PIZZAZZ, you can at max, have one minion other than her at this time.

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CURRENT FINANCES - $10899 + $4000 weekly income + $200 biweekly income

UNSKILLED LABORER - $5000
Unskilled and willing to take abuse, these individuals can be UPGRADED to any SKILLED MINION with an additional payment of $15000. A UNSKILLED LABORER can be put to any kind of work, but they're only half as efficient as a SKILLED MINION.

HIRED MUSCLE - $10000
A HIRED MUSCLE can be used to increase your operation range for an EXTORTION RACKET, allowing you to reach TWO more casinos. This is an investment that pays for itself over time.

PERSONAL SERVANT - $10000
With a PERSONAL SERVANT, you can assign Florian to act as their LEADER, boosting their performance in their DUTIES. Otherwise, you can use SERVANTS to free up Florian's schedule enough for her to offer ASSISTANCE during acts of VILLAINY.

RANDOM SKILLED MINION - $15000
It's a SKILLED MINION! But what kind? Who knows?! This is a great way to save money on SKILLED LABOR, but there's a good chance you won't get the kind you really NEED.

MERCENARY - $25000 biweekly
MERCENARIES are the backbone of any growing EVIL ARMY. Though they require CONTINUAL payments, they bring to the table their own equipment and they can provide actual ASSISTANCE in combat. They come with stats averaging out at 30 when providing ASSISTANCE to you, and their stats average to 20 when performing acts of VILLAINY without your SUPERVISION.

What MINIONS do you hire, if any?

RANDOM SKILLED MINION, maybe he's really skilled at baking cookies!

>RANDOM SKILLED MINION, maybe he's really skilled at baking cookies!

You don't really have the MONEY on hand for a RANDOM SKILLED MINION, you argue with the voices in your head. As soon as you finish lecturing YOURSELF about wisely spending money like some kind of DERANGED MADMAN, Florian offers to pay the $4101 you currently LACK.

She'll most certainly want some form of COMPENSATION sooner or later.

Do you take this OFFER or PASS? And if so, do you propose any COMPENSATION or allow it all to be up to Florian?

Don't take the money! You are not Florian's whore! Just hire the minion when you've got the cash.

>Don't take the money! You are not Florian's whore! Just hire the minion when you've got the cash.

Yeah, you've gotta play things SAFE. You politely decline Florian's offer and state that you will simply hire the RANDOM SKILLED MINION when you have enough money. What are two weeks before you, EXILE #714? You've waited hundreds of years just for a PAIR OF SOCKS to be on sale!

You've got one more action remaining until you turn in for the night. What do?

Go to the shrine in your closet.

Steal Florians cash, doesnt she work for you? and where did she get that money?

>Go to the shrine in your closet.

You already did that TODAY, nerd!

>Steal Florians cash, doesnt she work for you? and where did she get that money?

No! Petty theft is beneath you, even if said petty theft has a higher immediate payout than an EXTORTION RACKET. And Florian doesn't so much work for you as she kind of follows you around and occasionally saves your LIFE. And does pretty much all that LOATHSOME clerical work for you.

But that's really something EXPOSITION worthy, so you won't bother covering your complex and entirely PLATONIC relationship with her at this time.

As for where Florian got the money, that's hardly your business. Who do you think you are, her HUSBAND?

Any other ideas that don't involve DOUBLE RESPECTS or PETTY THEFT?

Its not petty theft is she was gonna give you the money. you wont be in her debt and she wont be mad.

Wouldn't she? Clearly you didn't realize you're living with a psycho! You'd be so far up in her debt you'd never climb back out. Ditch that Idea and check OBJECTIVES.

>Its not petty theft is she was gonna give you the money. you wont be in her debt and she wont be mad.

While this head voices' previous suggestion included the word "Steal", you decide to go along with it, making sure to SAVE your game in advance. This feels like one of those LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS, so one can't help but be cautious.

This indeed proves to be a LIFE ALTERING DECISION, and before you know it, you two have gone from PLATONIC ACQUAINTANCES to INTIMATE LOVERS. Just as the SPACE MONKEYS wanted! You grip your FAMILY HEIRLOOM SWORD in hand as you ascend to the highest point in GLITCH CITY to save your beloved from the SPACE MONKE- Okay, fuck this, you sat through a hundred and seventy two hours of this shit, and it's ridiculous. You're loading that save and never going down this path ever again.

>Load Game

>WARNING! YOU MAY LOSE ALL UNSAVED DATA!

Good riddance.

You load the shit out of that save data.

Check your OBJECTIVES

>Check your OBJECTIVES

You open up your OBJECTIVES for TOMORROW ONWARD. Save for active STORY OBJECTIVES, you'll only be getting information up to next FRIDAY.

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DAILY OBJECTIVES: Go to work.

DAY 4:

- Sale at MEN'S WAREHOUSE ends today!

DAY 5:

- GRAND OPENING of TYRONE'S BLACK AND BEEFY REAL ESTATE.
- GRAND OPENING of POLLUX METALWORK.
- GRAND OPENING of CASTOR ALTERNATIVE MEDICINES.

ACTIVE STORY OBJECTIVE:
"Well, DAY 8 marks the first anniversary of your EXILE, kid. Be sure to contact us on DAY 8, and try not to start the second year with a wasted MIRACLE. - L"
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You don't really trust LEGION, but it was through their gifts that you've got a chance at reacquiring your lost POWER.

That one time you used a MIRACLE they had granted you, you nearly went insane from the pain.
Never again.

Oh well. At least TYRONE'S BLACK AND BEEFY REAL ESTATE will be open soon.

This thought warms your CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM as you drift off to sleep.

It's a new day! DAY 4, to be precise.

You awaken, grab some breakfast, take your morning shower, pay your respects to Nonohara Miaka, say your farewells to Florian and head straight to work. You're going to function as a WAITER in the local teahouse to earn some LEGITIMATE MONEY. As you enter, the OWNER greets someone named FISHER. Who the hell i- Oh yeah, you're so used to being called DARC, you forgot your own PSEUDONYM. You're FISHER KING, SMOOTH OPERATOR, WAITER EXTRAORDINAIRE.

You greet the OWNER, settling for calling him BOSS before putting on your uniform apron and getting straight to work.

After the morning rush, there doesn't seem to be too much activity, save for the occasional elderly group. You hear plenty of GOSSIP and find out that you aren't the only one EXCITED for the GRAND OPENING of TYRONE'S BLACK AND BEEFY REAL ESTATE.

A group of FEMALE STUDENTS of VARYING AGES come in, probably leaving school to get some tea for lunch. Since their group is pretty large and currently the only customers in the teahouse, Jessica completely takes over the tea preparation duties while you handle things as the WAITER.

You could probably manage to SOCIALIZE with the group, or talk with Jessica between runs to fill in orders. You could also take your job completely seriously, cause you always could use a RAISE.

You can be the SMOOTHEST OPERATOR or the WITTIEST WORKER. What's your choice of action?

SOCIALIZE with the ladies but be sure to pay enough attention to their orders that you can get what they need quick enough, being a SMOOTH OPERATOR and a WITTY WORKER while using plenty of PIZZAZZ to pull it off, making the ladies HAPPY CUSTOMERS...I don't see why you didn't think of that before, they are after all the only customers in the store at the moment so it isn't like it should be too hard.

>SOCIALIZE with the ladies but be sure to pay enough attention to their orders that you can get what they need quick enough, being a SMOOTH OPERATOR and a WITTY WORKER while using plenty of PIZZAZZ to pull it off, making the ladies HAPPY CUSTOMERS...I don't see why you didn't think of that before, they are after all the only customers in the store at the moment so it isn't like it should be too hard.

Doing TWO things at once might prove to be a bit difficult, but you think you'll manage.

You make sure to really turn up both the PIZZAZZ and WIT for this.

While your status as a SMOOTH OPERATOR doesn't seem to extend to these girls, you still manage to make a positive impression with the tidbits of conversation you could actually involve yourself with. You'll need more PIZZAZZ if you're going to attempt to be the SMOOTHEST OPERATOR, it seems.

With your current WIT, you manage to keep up with orders in a SATISFACTORY way. While you didn't do BAD, you weren't all that IMPRESSIVE either.

When the girls leave to go back to class, they leave a TIP of $10 for you and Jessica to SPLIT.

They seem to be regulars, so you might have a chance to IMPRESS them again some time soon.

FINANCES UPDATED:
+5 GIBBERIAN DOLLARS

You've acquired 10 STAT POINTS from your recent endeavors, bringing you up to a total of 20.

Now that you've returned home with two actions remaining, what is your chosen course of action?

- GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP, ending the DAY.
- Check your COMPLETE STATUS PAGE.
- Plan acts of VILLAINY for the next DAY.
- Ask your journal of EXPOSITION a single question.
- Consult Florian. She specializes in MINION MANAGEMENT, SHIPPING, and ENEMY INTEL.
- Check your list of OBJECTIVES.
- Spend STAT POINTS (20).
- Other.

Planvacys of villany like robbing a bank vault with teleport. you need more yhan just 2000 dollars a heist if you want minions

>Planvacys of villany like robbing a bank vault with teleport. you need more yhan just 2000 dollars a heist if you want minions

You're too LAME to perform an act of VILLAINY that hardcore, and you don't have the MEANS to perform any more EXTORTION RACKETS at this time. If only your MOTIVATION were higher!

Then you could do more daring acts of VILLAINY!

What is your chosen course of action?

Take a walk in the park, you never know what you'll find.

>Take a walk in the park, you never know what you'll find.

Sure, that works. you go for a walk in the park.

Noting happens this time. What a shame.

Your return home, downtrodden. You have one action remaining tonight. What is your chosen course of action?