Make a wish and spoil it game!

Granted, but when you do it, it scrambles your molecules, turning you into potato soup.

I wish I had a potato.

Granted, but it's a 700V potato battery and you get shocked and die.

I wish I didn't have terrible internet in every home I've ever lived in.

Granted, but the only thing you can go to with said internet is Fox News pages.

I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but that includes the overload of stupidly retarded pokemon added in the latest versions, and there are also no longer any actual animals.

I wish Americans used the metric system.

Granted, but the "metric system" is something entirely different in America, resulting in even more confusion.

I wish I had a working Wii Motion Plus to play Skyward sword with.

Granted, but your Wii Motion Plus makes all of your movements be registered as inverted.

I wish I could swim faster.

Granted, you swim so fast that scientists think you are an alien and perform (deadly) experiments on you.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Granted, but soon there's nothing left of you.

I wish I wish I could hit a bullseye from a mile away

granted now you have an angry bull chasing you.

I wish that I got my anwarter already.

Granted, but it's a Chinese one and is of no use to you.

I wish my watch would automatically set itself to whatever timezone I'm in.

Granted, it sets itself to the timezone you're in three weeks ago.

I wish my keyboard worked properly

Granted, but you can only type with it using your feet for it to work.

I wish it were easier to break it to my band instructor that I'm not interested in the program anymore.

Granted, but a day after breaking the news you realise that you really love band but your spot's been filled.

I wish my new keyboard wasn't so Loud.

Granted, but now every time you click with your mouse, it's like "WHO GOT SHOT?!!"

I wish I could transfer my Skyrim game from PC to Xbox without having to pay for it all over again.

Granted, but it's full of glitches due to incompatibility.

I wish transferring files to my new laptop weren't such a slow process.

Granted, but now the contents of your files have been fractioned in order to minimize the size and make it a faster process.

I wish Steffen was less tight-lipped about neat stuff that happens to him and that I didn't have to ask just the right questions at just the right times to get an interesting conversation going. (lulz, don't worry. All men are like this, and you aren't as drastically bad as some.)

Granted, but he only ends up telling you boring information instead of anything youd like to hear

I wish people would listen to me more

Granted, but people no longer speak to you in contrast.

I wish I had aquaman powers so I could be a mer-person sometimes!

Granted, you now receive the same immense disrespect that DC tards give Aquaman.

I wish I had retractable wings.

Granted, you have retractable cockroach wings which are way too small to be capable of flight

I wish i could cook

Granted, you can only cook gruel.

I wish I had the ability to summon and control spirit animals.

Granted, but you can only control one species of animal once.

I wish TF2 would download faster.

Granted, the file is corrupted and wont play

I wish i had a bigger room

Granted. There's so much stuff in your new room, you actually have less space to move around and do stuff than you did in your old one.

I wish I didn't get this horrible feeling that there are things watching me or get auditory hallucinations when I'm in the dark or there's an opening to a dark room near me. Or windows. Or when looking into mirrors. Stuff like that ; H ;

Granted. Now it's not a feeling anymore. They're really there.

I wish Skyrim would stop crashing. TT_TT