Make a wish and spoil it game!

Granted, but you get rejected from them all anyways.

I wish I could influence time to make some things happen sooner.

Granted, but the only things you can make happen are for other people what doesn't affect you at all.

I wish it wasn't too cold to go outside

Granted, now it's so hot that cars begin to melt.

I wish all FDers lived within 3 timezones of each other.

Granted but no one comes online anymore.

I wish i didn't go to school anymore

Granted, but you also can't get a job.

I wish it was that nice time between winter and spring where i have a normal sleeping pattern.

Granted, but this year is different and nothing changes.

I wish I could fall asleep between 9 and 11.

Granted. You fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at 11pm, exactly what you wished for.
:3

I wish I could sleep longer than Drae.

Granted, you sleep for all eternity, in a very trippy nightmare about getting enslaved by the dreaded Rainbow Llamaman space pirates.

I wish I could have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now.

Granted, however, it is spoiled and moldy. It adds character.

I wish that my wishes could not be spoiled.

Granted, but the wishing machine is not amused and slaps you senseless before dumping you on the streets of post-apocalyptic New York.

I wish I had all my Bionicles here, fully intact.

Granted. They are now sentient, and seeking world domination and the destruction of mankind.
I wish that Ancient Aliens was canceled.

Granted it's now been replaced with something even more annoying.

I wish I stopped being ill all the time.

Granted, your sickness is broken up by periods where you turn into a statue.

I wish I had everything I needed in order to play Dawnguard.

Granted, but you must start a new save.

I wish i had more friends i could see and spend time with.

We all move right into your neighborhood and you get sick of us.

I wish I didn't have to work when I was in pain.

Granted, but now you're always in pain, and don't get any form of compensation for your sick leave.

I wish I could beat someone in Lost Kingdoms II.

Granted, you then grow so hooked on victory that you won't stop except to eat. Your health gradually declines until you go into a coma and are taken to the hospital by your stalker.

I wish all mosquitoes in the word suddenly died.

Granted, as a result the entire ecosystem falls apart and you are blamed for the end of life as we know it.

I wish I had more money

Granted, enjoy your extra 10 cents.

I wish Winter breaks were longer.

Granted but the summer break is shorter in return.

I wish my house would clean itself

Granted, now you can't find anything where you left it.

I wish laptops were even more portable.

Granted, they're now so portable that people can't find them... Ever.

I wish my cat would sit still for me to groom him.

Granted, he sits perfectly still for the rest of his life.

I wish i wasn't so scared all the time.

Granted, you're now fearless and it gets you killed.

I wish my animals weren't synchronised in their craziness.

Granted, but now each animal's craziness is forty seven times worse than when they were collectively crazy.

I wish I had Wonder Bread brand white bread right now.