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The Fourth Day

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"part of me prefers just thinking Links a dumbass. if i wanted to summon the apocalypse and destroy Hyrule id built a little fence around myself and theres not a god damn thing he can do about it" - Naomi
Welcome to the Fourth Day, where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
That's right, the points are like Drae's opinion.
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 Climbing the Smoke novel prologue

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PostSubject: Climbing the Smoke novel prologue   Climbing the Smoke novel prologue I_icon_minitimeThu Nov 01, 2012 5:08 pm

This is the prologue for the novel I was going to start writing a while back but decided to leave it until this month to start.


I'm well aware that it's stupidly short but I just sort of wanted something that would explain that the story isn't set in this world. I'm also aware that bits of this may just be a totally rip off of Naruto but I totes swear it's probably gonna be nothing like Naruto when I'm done.

What do you guys think??

We can stand in the light as much as we want, hoping that it will purify and burn away the mistakes we've made. But the truth is, it's only when we stand in the light that we cast our darkest shadow.

♫ You think you'll win, but soon you'll see, you may beat some, but you can't beat me ♫
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PostSubject: Re: Climbing the Smoke novel prologue   Climbing the Smoke novel prologue I_icon_minitimeFri Nov 02, 2012 9:35 pm

Too much exposition. I like how the character speaks to the reader, but it's revealing far too much of the backstory in far too little words.

Climbing the Smoke novel prologue Ralts_10Climbing the Smoke novel prologue Ralts_10Climbing the Smoke novel prologue Ralts_10
Quote :
“Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise that money cannot be eaten.”
-Cree Indian Prophecy

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