The Prologue of my Book

Prologue

Amuta 13th, 2996

A warm night breeze blew across the grasses of the plain. Night cast its shadow over the land, which lay peaceful, as if the hills themselves were asleep.
The orange glow of a fire awoke one hill. Log houses stood silently, almost watching as their residents sat all around this fire, a bountiful feast on all sides.
But more majestic, by far, than the banquet, was a dragon.
He was a member of the proud fire-breathing Pyruo species of dragons. Green scales, turned brown in the firelight, gleamed on his hide. Bands of leather, decorated with Celtic Knots, adorned his limbs, tail and long neck, and at his side sat a massive pouch, much too big to be worn by an elf.
His gaze took in the faces of all those around him. He spoke, “I am the storyteller, Forss. If I am here before you tonight, it is because I am here to tell you the story of the Shards of Draken.” He adjusted his position, toying with a small bone held in his claw. “Would you lend me your ears?”
“You have them,” said an elf man in his mid forties.
Forss nodded, “Then I shall begin.
“This story begins with treachery. A treachery so great that it shook the foundations of this world. Draken was first created by the Caelestis, who filled it with us, its denizens. Aceus fathered the creatures of light, Zathax fathered the creatures of shadow, and there were the neutral races, left unfathered by the two. The treachery affected these neutral races the most, leaving them lost and confused. It was the Caelestis that betrayed each other. They fought, creating more creatures in the sole purpose of conquering Draken for themselves. Their efforts were said to have split Draken into seven shards. Myriatha, shard of fire, Sayae, shard of oceans, Panorma, shard of forests, Raeiouwa, shard of wind, Zerin, shard of ice, Tamar, shard of deserts and caves, and our shard, Aksis, shard of plains.
“This story is about the lies of the Caelestis, and how a handful of mortal beings discovered the truth. A story about love, adventure, courage, and above all… truth.”

i remember hearing this on youtube

again you have a really soothing reading voice...its like all i can hear reading this.....*drifts off to a state of mind unexplainable*

*snaps back* oh yeah great story too.

Actually, this is a completely different prologue. It's been turned around, twisted, and flipped upside down. It's more or less the same story, but this time there's a dragon telling it, which is awesome, along with a few other changes. I also just edited it to contain their names.

It's intriguing. I would read the first chapter or so just to see if I would enjoy it.

Alright then. Here's the first chapter:

Quote :

Cut Bindings

Lunsa 2nd, 2775

Taekarea lay swathed in night’s blue cover, autumn’s touch forgotten in the darkness.
Blue-tinted sat the hills, the features of Aksis, the lakes, the forests. But bluer than any was Orrah, the forest lining Taekarea’s northernmost edge.
This night was a night of silence for Orrah. Not a breeze stirred in the air, not an owl hooted. It was a feeling known well by the people of Taekarea. The presence of Shades was powerful.
A wintry breeze tickled the leaves of the forest. Draezeth shivered as he lay awake in his bed. Something other than the cold pressed on his mind.
I’m sure it’s something trivial, he thought, but for the life of me, I won’t get to sleep if I can’t remember what it was!
The piece of dry meat on his dresser was what eventually reminded him, I forgot to check the traps today!
He put one foot down on the ground and was greeted by freezing floorboards. He shivered and got up. He quickly selected a dark green hunting tunic and some dark brown trousers. He grabbed a belt, slid a loop onto it and tied it around his waist. He retrieved his axe and stuck its handle through the loop and pulled on a pair of boots and gloves.
He opened his chamber door and came out into the frigid night air. He stood on a balcony in a tree. Directly beneath him lay a drop of about thrice his height to the earth below. His breath threw clouds into the air as he climbed down a spiraling set of stairs leading to the ground. The only illumination came from a window of a tree-house nearby.
Almost all the houses in this forest were tree-houses. Wood elves liked it better that way.
He drew some water from a well and splashed it on his head, gasping at the cold. He ran his fingers through his dark brown hair and got them to mostly stay flat. He grabbed a patch of his hair near his neck that was much longer than the rest, and tied it into a ponytail.
Draezeth glanced about. Nothing moved. There wasn’t a single breath of wind. No owl hooted, no fox dashed through the bushes.
He knew this feeling. The frigid air, no sound.
“There’s a Shade nearby,” he shivered.
His eyes scanned the forest, but he couldn’t feel the Shade’s presence, or see its lamp-like eyes.
Swallowing his dread, he ventured into the blackness ahead.

Wolf rock was once used as a sacred ritual site. As a result, it was left covered with designs, although many were covered in moss or lichen, and even more had been weathered away by rain and wind. It was also a preferred feeding ground for Fumbnukkles, the target of Draezeth’s hunt.
Draezeth set about resetting various traps, from snares to rock traps, relieving some of a dead beaver-like mammal. Fumbnukkles.
Once finished, Draezeth sat at the top of the rock, tracing an Ancient Taekarean design with his finger. He stared up at the heavens, letting his mind drift idly.
Time passed. It could have been a few minutes, or it could have been an hour. He couldn’t tell.
The silence was pierced by the faint wail of a dying Garek. Draezeth’s pointed ears perked up, trying to catch more noise. He scanned the forest, but no movement caught his eye. After a moment the noise resumed. About a score of Gareks were headed his way. As he listened more intently, he realized that their numbers were diminishing. Now there were only fifteen, maybe ten. Something or someone was fighting back.
Working quickly, Draezeth lit a torch, drew his axe and dashed in the directions of the sound. He soon began hearing the noises more clearly, and picked up his pace.
He slowed down as movement became clear to his eyes, and then stepped into the battlefield. In a shadowy area, the remaining Gareks were watching him. He could dimly see the shape of a young girl tied up behind them.
Draezeth held up his hand, “I am Draezeth, song of Drezias, heir to Aparia. I command you to show me your prisoner.”
The Gareks obediently stepped farther from the girl. She lay on her knees, hands tied behind her back and gagged by a dirty rag. Apart from her unruly hair, her features were mostly veiled by the night.
He stepped closer and the Gareks stepped back in the way, beginning to reach for their weapons. “Stay your hands,” Draezeth commanded, “I only want a look.”
Hesitantly, they allowed him passage again. Draezeth squatted down in front of the girl. She was a Saeru, no older than he was. It seemed unreasonable to have her under such tight security, until he noticed the Dokk sword at her side. He stood up, “I assume she is a prisoner that tried to escape?”
The Gareks nodded.
“Then on behalf of my father, I will take custody of the girl. Aparia is close by, and we have a secure holding place for such people.”
The Gareks hesitated again. Draezeth was glad that they were no smarter than goblins, or they would have turned down his order. But they made no motion of approval.
Draezeth took the girl by her bound hands and hoisted her to her feet, “Return to your posts. She is in good hands.” When they hesitated again, he added insistently, “Now!”
With that, the Gareks headed north into the woods.
The young Dokk cut the girl’s bonds, “Looks like you got into a tight spot. Since those Gareks of Yazth’s are after you, I assume you’re against him?”
She was clearly surprised to have been released. Her eye color was light blue, like the northern Saeru elves’. Her hair was dirty and very long, hanging below her waist, and was dark blonde. The left side of her jaw bore a small scar. Her body was slim, but not skinny, and not chubby, either, although her face was quite round with baby-fat. “Wha- you’re letting me go?”
“No,” said Draezeth, “But I’m not keeping you prisoner. Now, why were you being chased?”
“I… I’ve been a prisoner inside his castle for… a very long time. I don’t know why I was held there in the first place, though.” Her speech was slow, and bore a slight slur, as if her tongue was having trouble forming the right sounds.
Draezeth had to be skeptical. She seemed harmless enough, but one couldn’t be too careful, “Well… I suppose you should come to the nearby village of Aparia to stay the night…”
“Aparia?”
“It’s a rather small village, ruled by my father. By the way, my name’s Draezeth.”
“I’m Aliksa. But is Aparia under Yazth’s rule?”
“Well, we’re a part of Northern Taekarea, so we have to be. But we’re not that fond of him, to say the least.”
“Hmm,” said Aliksa, “That sounds agreeable for me.”
“So how long is ‘a long time’?” asked Draezeth, returning to the previous conversation.
She shook her head, “I can’t remember.”
“What year was it when you were captured?”
“Umm… 2766… I think. Nadin. I was 7 at the time.”
Draezeth turned around, eyes wide, “9 years ago?”
Aliksa’s eyes lowered, “I don’t know…”
Draezeth’s eyes lowered as well. He continued walking, “That’s horrible…”
Aliksa shut her eyes to stop her tears from flowing, “Don’t worry about me.”
But Draezeth couldn’t help it. Here was a girl that had spent more than half of her life in a dungeon. And he doubted that those tears could be faked so convincingly. How would she live as a free person? And why would Yazth do such a thing?
Draezeth held up his hand as they passed the first tree house, “I need to put these Fumbnukkles away. Wait here.”
He disappeared into the dark, leaving Aliksa alone. She wasn’t afraid, though. Nine years in a dungeon left her comfortable in darkness. The cold had passed, and it was clear that the Shade who had been nearby was gone now.
Draezeth soon returned. He took a hold on Aliksa’s wrist and led her through town to his house, and up the stairs, “We should tell my father you’re here.”
Draezeth led the way into his father, Drezias’s, office. At the far end of the room, a tall black-haired elf stood at the window.
He turned around, “Draezeth? What is it? Is there someone with you?”
His eyebrows were thick and black. At his chin he had a small beard. His features were long and hawk-like, and he looked fairly young, despite being over forty.
“I helped a prisoner escape from a squad of Gareks. I brought her here. It seemed the most logical thing to do. Her name’s Aliksa.”
Drezias’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean when you say you helped her excape?”
Draezeth smiled, “I commanded them to leave her in my custody. There was no Elf commander with them.”
“Tell her to come inside.”
Draezeth beckoned Aliksa to come in. When he saw her, Drezias smiled, disguising his slight skepticism, “Welcome, my dear, I hope Draezeth received you well. You are welcome to stay as long as you like, despite the rough time we are going through.”
Aliksa bowed emotionlessly and she and Draezeth took their leave.
Once out of his father’s office, Draezeth turned to Aliksa, “You should go to Tirhaka’s house, she has an extra bed there. It’s the house next door on the right.”
He reopened the door to his father’s study and stepped back inside, as Aliksa climbed down the stairs.
“Can we trust her?” asked Drezias, sitting down in front of his desk.
Draezeth nodded, “I think we can. She seems perfectly honest, and seems to have suffered a lot at the hands of Yazth. I can’t help but wonder, however, if Yazth might be behind it whether she’s aware of it or not. It could be a test of loyalty.” He folded his arms and leaned against the wall.
Drezias tapped his pen on a piece of paper absentmindedly, “That’s a good point. We should stay on our guard, and try to keep her out of the town itself, if possible.”
Draezeth nodded, “I’ll think about that.” He headed for the door.
“Come see me in the morning, after breakfast,” said Drezias quietly, before Draezeth closed the door behind him.

Aliksa was feeling extremely nervous. This was the first time she'd been in such close proximity with anyone that wasn’t hostile to her in years, and now she was going to do it again.
She climbed up the steps slowly, trembling with anxiety. She hadn’t felt like this around Draezeth. Probably because he had saved her. Or maybe it was because this person was female, like her. The thought of meeting a role-model made her nervous. She wanted to make a good impression, but could she? She, who had spent almost her whole life a prisoner?
She arrived at the door and knocked lightly on it. Within a few seconds, the door was opened by a short and stout Wood Elf woman. Aliksa didn’t know how to start, “A-are you Tirhaka?”
The lady nodded, “I am,” she looked Aliksa in the eyes, squinting to see in the darkness, “My, what tattered clothes! You’re a mess, and you’re covered in blood! What happened to you?”
Aliksa hesitated, and then began to explain, “I’ve been a prisoner of Yazth’s for several years. I managed to escape just tonight, and Draezeth helped me out. He suggested I come to you for a bed.”
Tirhaka smiled, “Well, if you don’t have a place to stay, I always have room for one more. Come on in, and let’s first get you some food. You look starved.”
Aliksa was given a mug of red juice and a slab of bread which she tore into rapidly.
“Slow down or you won’t have time to enjoy it,” Tirhaka advised.
Aliksa stopped long enough to say: “Too hungry,” and then continued.
She was given another loaf, and she finished that as well. When she was done, Tirhaka took a look at her clothes, “This won’t do. You must not have washed these in years!”
She left the house and headed down the stairs, “You wait here. Try not to touch too much.”
She returned with a few jars of water, which she poured into a large tub. She then began to light a fire, “You might want to wash up. I’ll get a nightgown for you, if I have one of the right size.”
Aliksa undressed. Tirhaka returned with a gown and noted Aliksa’s physique, “Hm… you don’t look as starved as most prisoners would. In fact, you look almost normal.”
Aliksa slid into the tub, “Yazth kept me fed. I don't know why, but he seemed to really want me alive.”
Tirhaka nodded thoughtfully and sat down next to the tub, “Hmm, you aren't half badly shaped, either. Wide hips, average breasts. You'd turn quite a few heads strolling down the street!”
Aliksa went bright red, from her ears to her neck, “W-well, I haven’t met many decent men…”
Tirhaka nodded, “That’s a shame. Draezeth’s as decent as they come! You two will get right along! He's a kind boy and can't stand seeing anyone suffer.”
Aliksa looked down, slipping into a daydream and turning even brighter red.
Tirhaka smiled, “You should learn to disguise your thoughts a little better!”
Aliksa hiccupped and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, “Ah! I wasn’t thinking about Draezeth!”
Tirhaka laughed good-naturedly, “Do you need some help washing your hair?”
Aliksa shrugged shakily, her mind still half on Draezeth. Tirhaka knelt behind her and scrubbed at the greasy golden strands, “If you'd like I can cut your hair shorter once it's washed.”
Aliksa nodded, “Okay...”
“So how long were you a prisoner?” asked Tirhaka, trying to make conversation.
Aliksa's eyes lowered, “According to Draezeth it's been nine years...”
Tirhaka gasped and dropped the soap, “Nine... by Mislionaath's sword! That must have been horrible!”
Aliksa picked up the soap, “It's okay.”
They finished washing in silence and Tirhaka got up, “Here’s what I found for you to wear. It’ll be good for the night, but we’ll need to find something better for daytime wear.”
She fitted Aliksa with a dull tan nightgown and sat her down on a chair. After fetching a pair of shears, she set to work on her hair, “How long do you want it?”
Aliksa shrugged again.
“Midway down your back?”
Another shrug, “Okay.”
Elegant golden locks fell to the floor with each movement of Tirhaka's experienced hand. When she was done she held up a mirror, “How is that?”
Aliksa pushed her hair behind her pointed elf ears, “Thank you, it looks lovely.”
Tirhaka smiled and opened the door to a spare bedroom, “This is where you'll sleep. You look exhausted.
Aliksa nodded and stepped inside. She was asleep before she landed in the bed.

I would definitely buy this book. A few parts are a little iffy but I assume that when it's edited and read over it wouldn't be and the characters seem interesting. if I had to give it points out of 10 it would get about a 7 at the moment.

TL;DR I like it.

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