Attention Mindless Consumers!

[23:11:31] @ J : magical unicorn poop cures what ailes you!

[23:11:40] @ Trace-114 : ew

[23:11:45] @ Slender Darc : Oh ok.

[23:11:55] @ J : thats the tagline for a product im trying to sell

[23:12:05] @ J : but people arent really getting into it

[23:12:08] @ Trace-114 : unicorn poop?

[23:12:13] @ J : i mean it has SO MANY USES

[23:12:19] @ Slender Darc : So, I'm going to go out on a limb and post SFWPorn.

[23:12:25] @ Trace-114 : well yeah id rename it to unicorn essense

[23:12:48] @ J : use it as shampoo and have the best hair ever and no headaches or mental disease

[23:13:04] @ J : rub it in your face and solve all your acne woes

[23:13:28] @ Slender Darc : http://dagobah.biz/flash/Safe_for_Work_Porn.swf

[23:13:36] @ J : shove it down inside your ears and never fear hearing loss or tinnitus again

[23:13:37] @ Slender Darc : That's all I gotta say.

[23:14:05] @ J : stick it in your mouth and suck it hard and sore throat problems will dissapear

[23:14:26] @ Slender Darc : Oh you~!

[23:14:38] @ J : if youre an under developed girl rub it all over your chest and watch it grow

[23:15:03] @ Trace-114 : lol

[23:15:06] @ J : rub it on your armpits and say goodbye to BO

[23:15:28] @ J : got unwanted body hair? use it as shaving cream

[23:15:59] @ J : make yogurt out of it and feel regular for life

[23:16:30] @ J : rub it on your joints and cure arthritis FOREVER

[23:16:44] @ J : feed it to your dog and he'll live forever

[23:16:45] @ Slender Darc : Hm...

[23:16:50] @ Trace-114 : how much for this unicorn essense

[23:17:04] @ J : feed it to your grandma and he'll live forever

[23:17:15] @ Slender Darc : TRANNY HRANNY

[23:17:18] @ Slender Darc : *GRANNY

[23:17:26] @ Trace-114 : lol

[23:17:29] @ J : all for the low low price of 27 carrots and a stick!

[23:17:35] @ J : :D

[23:17:53] @ J : with so many uses youd be crazy NOT to have a jar of this shit

[23:17:55] @ Slender Darc : Well.

[23:18:01] @ J : MAGICAL UNICORN POO!

[23:18:07] * Slender Darc rubs some on Trace's chest.

[23:18:10] @ Trace-114 : rename it essense J

[23:18:15] @ J : what do you guys think of my commercial

[23:18:17] @ Slender Darc : WORK!

[23:18:25] @ J : this product is amazing

[23:18:27] @ Slender Darc : WORK, DAMMIT!

[23:18:37] @ Trace-114 : it was good j but lets wait and see of it will work

[23:18:39] @ J : hey trace your chest is growing

[23:18:58] * J points to traces chest

[23:18:58] @ Trace-114 : IT DOES WORK

[23:19:58] @ J : i told you

[23:20:24] @ J : BUT WAIT THERES MORE!

[23:20:42] @ Slender Darc : SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

[23:20:42] @ Trace-114 : /ME STARTS FONDOLING HIS SMALL BOOBS

[23:20:48] @ J : call now and we'll throw in a buckit of magical unicorn urine!

[23:20:57] * Slender Darc throws $500 at J.

[23:21:08] @ J : swish it in your mouth for whiter teeth

[23:21:10] @ Trace-114 : unicorn lemonade J

[23:21:21] @ Trace-114 : sweet lemonade

[23:21:58] @ J : rub it in your eyes and see the world on a WHOLE NEW WAY

[23:22:45] @ J : erectile dyfunction? NO PROBLEM! Just dip your wang in a bucket of magical unicorn urine and have the penis of your DREAMS!

[23:23:22] @ Trace-114 : how do you know that will happen J?

[23:23:43] Commander Catspirit has been disconnected on Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:23 pm (session timeout)

[23:23:47] @ J : trace this product has been extensively tested

[23:24:00] @ Trace-114 : well it just needs a slight name change

[23:24:04] @ J : we dont just present you a product we dont know what it does

[23:24:26] @ J : i think the name is fine, what do you think darc

[23:24:35] @ J : also thanks for the 5000$

HOW COULD I ALLOW MYSELF TO FALL ASLEEP AT THE KEYBOARD WHEN SUCH OFFERS WERE AVAILABLE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*rage explodes*