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 About the Shards of Draken

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Zalty
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PostSubject: About the Shards of Draken   Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:44 pm

I'm at a part in the book where one character asks a bunch of questions to another about the planet, Draken, and I'm trying to reveal as much as possible about its history, the races living on it and such, but I need to know what the readers will want to know, first, so I'm going to ask you guys.

Here's the passage that I've written so far so you know what there is:

Quote :
“What’s a Balrog?” asked Miera tentatively.
“Well, you know what their heads were shaped like from that picture. According to the stories, they were immense brutish beasts, commanding armies of Darkness, and wielding powerful… well, power.” He paused, as if considering all he had said, “But those are legends. I don’t even know if they really existed.”
Miera’s eyebrows were raised, “They sound dangerous…”
Draezeth shrugged, “Not dangerous enough to win the Light-Dark wards, obviously.”
“So the Light side had creatures like Balrogs as well?”
Draezeth nodded, “Like Shades, too. It’s like… a magic game of chess. They have similar pieces, but they’re opposites.” His analogy to a game of chess made him stop and think. He imagined Zathakks and Aceus sitting across from each other, moving chess pieces along a board. It was striking how fitting it was.
Miera nudged him out of his musings with another question, “So what are the Light’s Balrogs and Shades?”
“Ah, those are Seraphim and Angels. They’re really similar to their Dark counterparts, but they’re opposites. Instead of freezing cold, they make the air desert-hot. They have musical and soothing voices, where Shades have twisted and ragged ones. Things like that. Both of them look like winged Ljos, really.”
Miera nodded for little reason other than to indicate that she’d taken the information in. “I’ve still got a lot to learn,” she said after a while, “Nine years is a long time.”
Draezeth nodded solemnly, “Is there anything else you want to know?”
Miera thought for a moment, “Are there kings and queens in this game of chess?”
Draezeth smiled and thought for a moment, “Well, Balrogs would fit queen, since they’re the most powerful piece. I’m not sure about kings. Next question!”
Miera smiled. She was enjoying this question and answer session. “What are the other shards of Draken?”
“Alright, so there are technically seven shards. Aksis, our shard, is the shard of Plains. The shard of Snow flipped upside down after Draken shattered, and became a huge mountain. Then there’s the shard of Ocean, which isn’t technically a shard, but a huge ring of water with floating islands on it. You can actually see it in the sky right now!” He pointed at a band of sky that was slightly darker than the rest, “It’ll soon be in a position where it’ll block the sun at certain times of day.”
Miera’s eyes went wide as she noticed the band for the first time, “People live on that?”
Draezeth nodded, “I think so. I don’t really see why not. But on a really clear day, right before it crosses over the sun, you can see islands on it.”
Miera continued looking at it for a long time, “Wow… a piece of the shattered world, right there.”
Draezeth nodded, “It’s impressive, isn’t it?”
Miera nodded in response. They rode on for a few minutes in silence before Miera turned back to Draezeth, “What about the other shards?”
“Oh, right! I’d forgotten about that,” said Draezeth with a grin, “So then there’s the shard of Wind, which is actually thousands of smaller shards. The shard of Forests is, of course, covered in trees, and finally, there’s the Fire shard, which is covered in volcanoes and lava flows, but probably still has some species living on it.”
Miera counted on her fingers, “But that’s only six shards.”
“Yeah. We can’t see the seventh one from Aksis. Well, using the right tools, we actually can, but it’s too far away for us to be able to tell what its surface is like.”
“So you mean you can see the other shards from Aksis?”
Draezeth nodded, “So I’ve heard. But apparently they’re extremely hard to see because they’re blocked by Zathakks.”
Miera let Draezeth’s last word sink in before reacting, “Zathakks?”
Draezeth laughed, “That’s what I said. Zathakks is sealed inside the shards, but his essence spreads through the cracks. We can’t get through it, though, which is why we know so little about the other shards.”
Miera hardly paid attention to most of the explanation, “You can actually see Zathakks. A Caelestis.”
“Eh, not quite,” said Draezeth, “I don’t think Caelestis have physical forms like we do. It’s Zathakks’ essence, not he himself. I think it’s more like a show of power for Aceus than Zathakks being actually trapped within the Shards. But then again, you never know.”
“I wonder why Aceus doesn’t shut the… Oh! I’m sorry, does talking about this offend you at all?”
Draezeth shook his head, “No, not really. I may be a dark race, but when it comes to the affairs of the Caelestis, I’m not really involved. Go on with your question.”
Well, I was just wondering why Aceus doesn’t shut the shards on Zathakks. If he’s so powerful, I don’t see why he couldn’t.”
Draezeth shrugged, “I really can’t say. I don’t know the minds of the Caelestis.”
“Hm,” said Miera in consent. After a moment, she perked up, “Say, I’ve been asking you all these questions about Taekarea, Draken and the Caelestis, but I still don’t know much about you!”
“You’re right,” Draezeth confirmed, “Well, I’m seventeen years old, and have lived in Orrah all my life. Right now, the only family I have is my father. My mother died when I was born.”
“I’m sorry,” said Miera.
Draezeth shook his head, “Everyone says that when I tell them, but I’m not the one that suffered for it. I never knew her, but the loss hit my father especially hard. It wasn’t until I was four that he began to get over it. Until then, the only person I had to take care of me was my wet nurse, who had to leave Orrah when I was five.” He noted the look of pity on Miera’s face, “Oh, don’t make that face. I can’t remember anything before I was seven years old. I only know these things through my father. And besides, I’m sure it doesn’t compare to your childhood.”
Miera nodded grimly and Draezeth took her hand, “We’ve still got bright futures, though. Taekarea will be peaceful one day, and you and I will be able to enjoy a long life. Together.”
He squeezed her hand, and she did the same, smiling. “Go on about your life,” urged Miera, “I still want to know more.”
Draezeth let go of her hand and gripped Talonwing’s reins again, “Alright. Well, I lived a pretty good childhood after that. I was seven when Yazth began the North-South war. He took almost all of Aparia’s soldiers instantly. When I was around the age of eleven, my father started taking me on diplomatic trips throughout Northern Taekarea, usually discussing trade. I didn’t really understand it or find it interesting until I was fifteen. I would usually play with the nobles’ dogs or children if they had any. Otherwise I’d try to sleep. I’m glad I went to those meetings, though. I learned many things that will help when I become the Lord of Aparia.”
“Draezeth, I remember hearing that nobles can only marry nobles… is that true?”
Draezeth bit his lip, “Well, sort of. There is a way, but you might not like it.”
“If it’s to be with you…” Miera’s voice trailed off and a deep blush found her face.
Draezeth chuckled and continued, “Well, a noble and a commoner are only allowed to have one child in order to prevent the land from being split between too many noble families. A family that is noble on both sides can easily split the land between two heirs. Depending on the land available, all-noble families may sometimes be allowed to have more children, but noble-commoner ones are always limited to one. It’s a very forward-thinking method.”

The creatures known to exist at this point are:
Dragons, Elves, Hippogriffs and Griffins, Goblins, Orcs, Balrogs, Shades, Angels, Seraphim, Dwarves, Fumbnukkles (beaver-like rodents that are good for food) and Gareks (which are a made-up race of orc-like humanoids with hooves and pic-like snouts).

Magic includes:
Light and Dark magics (Light and Dark do not mean good or evil).
Alchemy: The mixing of herbs to make potions, as well as the mixing and heating of herbs and special Okora clay which forms elemental "grenades" depending on the herbs used.

Please do ask!

_________________
Quote :
“Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise that money cannot be eaten.”
-Cree Indian Prophecy

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PostSubject: Re: About the Shards of Draken   Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:33 pm

that is a hell of a lot of information to try and take in in one go. Maybe you should split it up and explain it in smaller chunks throughout the book.

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PostSubject: Re: About the Shards of Draken   Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:38 pm

Sure, but I could still use a list of what you guys want to know, as readers.

_________________
Quote :
“Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise that money cannot be eaten.”
-Cree Indian Prophecy

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Aka
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PostSubject: Re: About the Shards of Draken   Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:44 pm

Do you have regular animals to eat like chicken and fish or are all your animals and meat fictional. Which (if any) races don't get along with each other? Is there a reason for it? Where does your magic come from? If Light and Dark don't mean good and evil then what does it mean? Do you have any other elemental types of magic (Thunder/Fire/Blizzard Think Final Fantasy and you'll know what I mean).

Those are all I can think of at the moment lol.

_________________
We can stand in the light as much as we want, hoping that it will purify and burn away the mistakes we've made. But the truth is, it's only when we stand in the light that we cast our darkest shadow.

♫ You think you'll win, but soon you'll see, you may beat some, but you can't beat me ♫
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Zalty
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PostSubject: Re: About the Shards of Draken   Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:02 am

Ok, good questions! Thanks, Aka.

_________________
Quote :
“Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise that money cannot be eaten.”
-Cree Indian Prophecy

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