The Fourth Day
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The Fourth Day

Where blood is no thicker than water.
 
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"part of me prefers just thinking Links a dumbass. if i wanted to summon the apocalypse and destroy Hyrule id built a little fence around myself and theres not a god damn thing he can do about it" - Naomi
Welcome to the Fourth Day, where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
That's right, the points are like Drae's opinion.
Colors are now freely available, PM Drae to ask him for yours!

 

 My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!

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5 posters
AuthorMessage
Darc
Booty Warrior
Booty Warrior
Darc


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Join date : 2010-12-21
Age : 34
Location : The stall of an Olive Garden bathroom.

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PostSubject: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 7:10 am

So, an ambitious project begins.
Tell me what you honestly think.

Chapter 1 - Original

Spoiler:

Chapter 1 - Rewritten

Spoiler:
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J
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J


Posts : 3128
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Join date : 2010-12-11
Age : 33
Location : Ohio, with all the other bat-shit insane Ohioans

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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 7:59 am

Even with your edits its still horrible but by no fault of your own. I actually read it without rage throwing my computer out the window and yelling "IN THE NAME OF GRAMMAR I REBUKE THEE!" though so you get thumbs up there.
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Zalty
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Zalty


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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 11:03 am

Makes me think of our long-neglected Hogwarts RP...
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http://draezeth.deviantart.com/
Preschooler Florian
AFSDFHWEGWODJA
AFSDFHWEGWODJA
Preschooler Florian


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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 11:08 am

Yeah too bad dimbo is harly ever on.
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Zalty
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Zalty


Posts : 3570
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Location : Arkansas, usually

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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 4:12 pm

He's back now.
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Darc
Booty Warrior
Booty Warrior
Darc


Posts : 963
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Join date : 2010-12-21
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Location : The stall of an Olive Garden bathroom.

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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeWed Feb 15, 2012 6:13 pm

Alrighty, thanks for the review, J! (I'll reward it with a clothing description next chapter! Troll)

Also, feel free to take up the torch and do a few chapters too, guys. 44 Chapters of this is really hard to proofread.
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J
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J


Posts : 3128
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Join date : 2010-12-11
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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeThu Feb 16, 2012 1:42 am

i don't know if i could....i mean i could try but a rage quit or two might occur

the story is horrible with or without the grammar issues and i just cant write horrible things (at least i hope you guys dont think my stuff is horrible or I've failed as a writer)
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Darc
Booty Warrior
Booty Warrior
Darc


Posts : 963
Friendliness : 1107
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Join date : 2010-12-21
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Location : The stall of an Olive Garden bathroom.

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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeThu Feb 16, 2012 2:45 am

Yeah, the story is awful. It's been established by the world's finest scientific minds that a Hollywood movie of My Immortal would cause cataclysm on par with the "Great Blank" in PS-0. Besides, having multiple people writing it, good or bad in their own personal opinionI know for a fact that I'm an awful writer., would add variety to it.
Hell. It could very well be a forum project if we all were to put our heads together.

And a ragequit or two? Hardly a problem. I'm taking things one chapter at a time, and if everyone gets on board with this, we'll have quite the line set up for people to wait their turn. That means everyone can have plenty of downtime to relax and stave off the rage.
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Aka
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Aka


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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitimeSat Mar 03, 2012 1:09 am

In all honesty it still sucks, but you're right! Less brain cancer =D
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PostSubject: Re: My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!    My Immortal - Now with less Brain Cancer!  I_icon_minitime

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