Want to avoid your problems like a nutjob professional? Well, with these 20 easy steps, YOU can become an amazing master at not figuring out what you were doing five minutes ago!
Written by Darc, with loving help from Lord Befellnatz, who lives inside his major organs.
1. Do you know what it is?
[Yes: Proceed to 20, No: Proceed to 2.]
2. Does it interest you?
[Yes: Proceed to 3, No: Proceed to 4.]
3. Are you hungry?
[Yes: Proceed to 4, No: Proceed to 5.]
4. Eat It.
5. Is it the glorious Lord Befellnatz in disguise?
[Yes: Proceed to 4, No: Proceed to 6.]
6. Does it awaken your inner Warrior?
[Yes: Proceed to 7, No: Proceed to 12]
7. Is it a guy?
[Yes: Proceed to 8, No: Proceed to 9]
8. Has your “Man’s Booty” quota been met today?
[Yes: Proceed to 11, No: Proceed to 10]
9. Is she in the mood?
[Yes: Proceed to 10, No: Proceed to 11]
10. I’MMA WARRIOR!
11. Check back tomorrow.
12. Does it make you want to slap someone?
[Yes: Proceed to 13, No: Proceed to 15]
13. Is it Skylanders?
[Yes: Proceed to 14, No: Proceed to 4.]
14. Slap someone. Do you feel better?
[Yes: Proceed to 20, No: Proceed to 14.]
15. Is it affiliated with the Duodecium in any way?
[Yes: Proceed to 16, No: Proceed to 7.]
16. Does it remind you of Sayo?
[Yes: Proceed to 17, No: Proceed to 18.]
17. Ignore it.
18. Does it make you feel legitimately happy?
[Yes: Proceed to 19, No: Proceed to 7.]
19. Is it the “sexy” sort of happy?
[Yes: Proceed to 7, No: Proceed to 4.]
20. Does it still interest you?
[Yes: Proceed to 3, No: Proceed to 5.]