†Saviha Vosterku† Warming up
Posts : 20 Friendliness : 43 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2011-09-02 Age : 31 Location : A Fading Dream
| Subject: "Tell Me, My Love" A Poem made Once upon a time ago. Wed Nov 16, 2011 9:38 pm | |
| Tell Me My Love Tell me my love, Are you from up above? Were you sent here to save me, Or to guide me like a dove? Every night I lie in bed, While dreams of you fill my head, Your presence has not left me, Even though you are dead. Like a shadow on the leaves, You dance in the autumn breeze, You sing to me each night, And protect me from each fight. You’re an impression on my mind, That I wish one day to find, And even though you are gone, My thoughts of you are not done. Even in the storms, I hear your faint voice speak, It finds me every time, Even though it is quite weak. Tell me now my love, Is it still just the same, Do you think of me, Every passing day. Or am I just a blur, That's fading all away, Never to return any night, Or any day? | |
|
Zalty ➳ ➳ ➳ ┌( ⁰△⁰)┘
Posts : 3570 Friendliness : 3637 Reputation : 24 Join date : 2010-12-08 Age : 30 Location : Arkansas, usually
| Subject: Re: "Tell Me, My Love" A Poem made Once upon a time ago. Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:19 am | |
| I'd give my opinion, but I'm pretty much tone-deaf when it comes to poetry, so I really wouldn't be able to.
One piece of advice, though, you should post the poems over a longer span of time, one at a time. | |
|
rickamaru Demon Slayer (posted it to death)
Posts : 613 Friendliness : 459 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2011-05-18 Age : 34 Location : Digging a pit (Digging Digging Digging)
| Subject: Re: "Tell Me, My Love" A Poem made Once upon a time ago. Thu Nov 17, 2011 1:41 pm | |
| Very nice piece here. I like the message and can relate to it. You're rhyming is impressive as well. I struggle with my rhyming XP | |
|
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: "Tell Me, My Love" A Poem made Once upon a time ago. | |
| |
|