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 Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)

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Kylinn
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PostSubject: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:03 pm

Welcome, one and all, to the place to get things off your chest when the chatbox is simply too fast-paced, or when you don't want to interrupt the conversation by drawing attention to it, or for any other reason.

Rules (partially plagiarized from another forum I frequent ^_^):

1) Do not talk about other forum members or forum related issues here. Gossiping ain't cool, and neither are backhanded jabs. If you have a problem with another member, talk it out in private or take it to a mod.

2) Don't make fun of people for their vents. This is meant to be a place for people to share and find comfort. Remember, we all have our own points of view. You must first respect others' if you want your own to be respected. If you have an issue with the way someone said something, you all know how to approach it in a civil fashion.

3) Respect triggers and squicks. If you're talking about medical or sexual issues, that's fine, just please put it in ninja text like this, with a warning for content so that people who don't want to see it can simply not select it. Ditto for things that might be upsetting to others. When in doubt, be a ninja, with a brief note at the top about the general content type.

EDIT: Being the creator of the thread has its benefits, and one of them is using the title to enforce what really should be a rule rather than a guideline. Maybe I can't control it over where I got the thread idea, but I can here, and I'm prepared to beg until people start posting all but the most random, pointless, emotion-free things in black. Yes, even happy posts should be invisible. Just do it, okay? Please? Sad

EDIT 2: It's a rule now. Things such as content warnings and brief notes about what the post says can be in white; the rest, ninja or nothing. I'm drawing the line before it starts driving me to fits of rage like it does at least once a week over on the other forum. Sorry, but there is simply no way to make boundaries for such abstract and flexible concepts as "something that could possibly upset someone somehow". Happy, sad, angry, jealous, embarrassed, bored, parents, school, work, friends, relationships, body, whatever. Hide it all.

4) No slurs. Swear all you want, but language that is offensive to any specific group of people will not be tolerated. Please try to be respectful of people's differences.

That's all for now. Go ahead, express your feelings!


Last edited by Kylinn on Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:08 am; edited 4 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:09 pm

I love this. <3. A place where we can vent when the Chat's moving too quickly. I love this idea Kylinn.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:58 pm

*Deep breath*
Okay, look. I said that thing because I've never met a real Christian.
My girlfriends parents are Christian, and they judge me worse than God Himself ever would. They think they are God(s), and they believe there is no chance in Heaven for me, and I 'cannot be saved'. I'm a woman beater, a mental, and physical abuser. I'm a narcissistic prick, and I don't deserve to speak to their daughter, ever.

Also - My friend Heather, her parents are "Christians" as well. I've never seen two of the fakest people in my entire life. Ever.
My girlfriends parents, and my friend Heather's parents. And the men that work here. There's only one good man.



Okay, look. I've lived in a homeless shelter, run by Christians, for two months. And they all think they are God, and judge all of us and treat us all like dirt, like shit, and talk down to us because they are a 'form of authority' and 'demand respect' and in short, without actually saying so, they expect to kiss the ground they walk on.
We were eating dinner, and one of the guys who work here, his son wasn't hungry, so he was basically like - fine, you don't get to eat. You aren't hungry, then don't except to be eating later. Or something like that. It's not my fault you aren't hungry, so if you aren't hungry now, you better not be hungry later.
And the other guy, 2nd in command so to speak, treats everyone completely like shit, just cuz he can.
I don't like Christian people, and I have a loot of reasons why. If they don't like my opinion, and if they refuse to ask why I feel the way that I do, and judge me because I feel the way I do, without getting the real story behind it, then they are false Christians as well. I've tried to believe the Christian faith, but it's hard when everyone one of the Christians I met, judge me because of my past, and things I've never had control over, and judge me because my personal believes aren't carbon-copy of what God believes, when in reality, if I WASNT Christian, I'd still be more Christian than the Bible-Thumping, self-proclaimed Gods.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:03 am

As a Christian, Synth, I can safely say that the entire spiritual journey has been spoiled by fake, prestigious and AWFUL "christians" who really deserve nothing more but to keep their mouth shut and either learn what they need to properly or gtfo. Honestly, there is nothing worse than a hypocrite -- especially one that makes YOU feel terrrible.

I'm sorry about this, Synth. That sucks. I hope you meet someone who truly knows the difference between righteous and self-righteous. Christians are supposed to look out for mankind in place of the one the believe in -- not make them feel like absolute shit, as they have done to you. </3 Now I see where you're coming from. Fake [insert any religion, political group or anything of the like here] suck ass.

As long as you know that, I think you'll be okay. <3 Good luck, honey.

A note to Christians: "CHRISTIAN" means "little Christ". Meaning, you are to act like Christ. I don't think Jesus went around to different villages telling people how worthless they are, that there's no hope, smiting them, calling them out and being all "IM TEH FASCIST LOL" or whatever.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:06 am

*hugs* I get where you're coming from, although I wasn't there for whatever outburst or incident happened. Besides, if I recall correctly from seventh grade social studies, Jesus insisted on loving everyone, no matter what. People who use their religion as a means to elevate themselves above the rest of humanity and hurt innocents for no reason at all other than the delusion of being "better" than them are twisted perversions of whatever their religion is and stands for. They make me sick.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:11 am

Kylinn wrote:
*hugs* I get where you're coming from, although I wasn't there for whatever outburst or incident happened. Besides, if I recall correctly from seventh grade social studies, Jesus insisted on loving everyone, no matter what. People who use their religion as a means to elevate themselves above the rest of humanity and hurt innocents for no reason at all other than the delusion of being "better" than them are twisted perversions of whatever their religion is and stands for. They make me sick.

I'll tell you one thing. Whatever god, gods or other deity they worship is VERY likely to think no better of them. >.> It's mentioned in the Bible and in the Torah (and I think the Quran) that hipocrites do not have a very pleasant space reserved for them in the afterlife. And let's not forget wat Dante's Inferno had to say about hypocrites who are cruel and vindictive.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:20 am

Syntheric, I'm very sorry about what's going on with these aweful people you are forced around.
What I want to make clear for you (not talking down to you) is that that is NOT how Christians are supposed to behave. They are arrogant, intolerant, and are not doing what God very clearly instructs us to do. They need to open their eyes and take a good look around them. There are a lot of people out there like this, which is what makes my stomach churn. Our beliefes are to be kind, open, and caring to all people and to share the love of Jesus Christ with everybody, not to be "holier than thou" pricks. We're only people, just like you. We have our flaws, just like you. We're not perfect and shame on anyone who behaves like they are. I've never met you in person before, so I don't know how you behave, but even if it's to a point where they don't feel comfortable around you, that still gives them no right to treat you that way. Saying that you "can't be saved". Excuse my language, but, that is complete bull.
I... I really don't know what to say about these people. They really need to get their act together.
But, what I was trying to say earlier was that it hurts that you would say that you hate "all Christian people" because that's not how we are and I feel like crying when people get that negative catigorization of Christians as being heartless, uncaring people that think they're better than everyone else and treat others like crap. Sure, there are people out there like that, but I'm not like that. My family is not like that. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry about the conditions you are in and that my prayers will be with you and I will include you in my fasting. I hope that we won't see each other differently after this.

<3
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:23 am

I also completely agree with TheMeekOne.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:32 am

I really want to make something clear. Warning for...well, not much. I just like being a ninja.

Please, just this once, do not tl;dr this. It's long, but it's extremely important for everyone to read.

There have been a number of times in my life when I've gotten the wrong idea about something, such as, for instance, a friend's boyfriend. Because when a friend wants to vent about said boyfriend, they talk to their friends, whereas when something good happens, they have no need to vent, nor to keep their feelings a secret from whoever they're talking about. So with all the complaints and not hearing any good things, I get to feeling like they're trapped in an abusive relationship, when in reality those bad times are the exception rather than the norm.

It's like that when I talk about my parents. I vent a lot about them, and that might make it seem like they're horrible monsters that keep me locked in a dungeon with no food or water, but...it's really not like that. And I need you guys to believe me, because...I've heard stories of what people online can do. I've seen the videos of a woman losing custody of her kids because some people online found out about something she said, and while I agree that she deserved everything she got and more (she deliberately and very cruelly taunted the family of a little girl with a terminal disease), I can't help but be terrified by that kind of thing...how much influence someone can have on someone so far away, and if you guys get the wrong idea...I worry that you could have me taken away, and please trust me when I say I really don't want that. Yes, I am very eager to move out, but that's an independence thing. All my life I've been dependent on others to do everything for me, so of course the prospect of getting out of here and living alone is enticing. That doesn't mean I'd rather be in some foster home fifty miles away with complete strangers than with my parents, who I get into disagreements with (partially because I'm very stubborn, often rude, and throw tantrums like a five-year-old when things don't go my way) but love all the same and am generally supported by.

Please, I'm begging you guys...understand me. I'm having a hard time putting into words the multitude of reasons why I don't want to be taken away, but suffice it to say I don't, and despite how much I'm probably going to rant about my parents, and despite the fact that they may very well be worse than most parents, they are not anywhere near as much worse as it will probably seem. I just have a tendency to share the bad and not the good, and I do have severe anger issues, which means my rants come out a lot more...ranty...than most people's would in the exact same circumstances. I'm clearing it up right now...things are not that bad here. And no matter what I might say when I'm angry, it will be an overreaction on my part, because that's just a part of how I vent. When I talk about wanting to kill someone, I don't mean it. When I talk about wanting to nuke something or torture someone or destroy something, I really don't mean it.

I really need you guys to understand...
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:41 am

Kylinn, we understand, completely and absolutely.
You don't need to worry at all because we are here and will support you, no matter what.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:46 am

Kylinn, I would hope that people online would know how to deal with a situation as serious as yours have been with real tact. Not every wicked situation is about involving the authorities -- sometimes, gentler means need to be introduced, like an urge to move, an urge to see a counselor, an urge to talk to a friend, an urge to do something that is constructive and positive, not immediately negative.

Count on this, Kylinn -- I, at least, would never overreact to what you are saying, even if it does scare me. I want to help you, but I wouldn't want to intervene unless I knew my actions were actually going to devote something meaningful to your situation. Because I'm in a different country and not fully involved in your life, it would be irresponsible of me to do something.

From here I can look at solutions for you. If you need help figuring out your next step, you can PM me, you can talk to me in chat, anything. Don't expect me to call the police on you. I would hope you could expect the same of anyone on this forum, because unless you are being threatened with very serious harm or murder, it is not our business, and it is not our god-given responsibility to take immediately drastic action.

I wouldn't want to see you more hurt than you already are.

I hope we can trust that you're really okay. </3 We won't take to irrational and drastic measures if you aren't, but I would hate to assume everything is alright when it isn't.
And Ky, the reasn people are anxious to simply go ahead and trust, despite everything, is because its blown up in people's faces before. It's an awful feeling to find out you've been letting something happen with a smile on your face. And sadly, it happens every single day to children, the elderly, animals, etc..It's awful. Please don't be cross with us if we're upset for you. </3

Hang in there. I hope you can get out soon and start living your life a little better. Good luck, Ky.
I hope you can rest easy and trust us. We trust you. <3 love ya, and bless you!
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:47 am

Kyl, believe me when I say I understand. My mom can easily be seen as neglectful, but that's because she works so much, to support me and my little sister. Me and Hebs (little sister) nearly got taken away because of a similar situation... Only, it was a Guidence Councelor overhearing something my sister said about my dad. (Who, just saying, had no contact with us for about 3-4 years by that point.)

We worry about you, and if we think that we have a reason to be... Then we will continue to be concerned.

However, I know how it is.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:31 pm

First I love this idea.

Okay so my parents and I have been having very difficult problems lately. This summer, my stepdad got angry at me because I was erasing the text messages off of my phone before I gave it to him so he punched my face and managed to fracture my nose. Afterwords, my mother came and asked me why I didnt give it to him and I told her that I just didn't want him to read my messages (he had countless times before) so she grabbed me by the throat and slammed me into the door and pulled my hair telling me that I was an ungrateful bastard who had no right to treat my stepdad that way. I later got a haircut and the barber could see where my mom had pulled my hair out in little patches, but with my mom standing there I couldn't say anything. I'm starting a new post for my next story.


Last edited by kikren on Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kylinn
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:37 pm

EDIT @kikren: At the risk of sounding hypocritical due to my last post (although mine have never physically harmed me), that's horrible. I figure there's no way you can get out of there, otherwise you probably would have done so, but that's just...they could go to jail for that kind of thing. It's just...I can't accurately express how disturbed I am by that, so I'm sorry for sounding so wooden, but...it's horrible.

----------

Thanks everyone...it means a lot that you guys care; I just don't want it to go too far is all.

More wangst:

I'm worried about my presence here. On the one hand, it's ridiculously fun, and I feel more like an actual part of all this instead of a watcher, which is what I've wanted. On the other hand, you all really seem to believe that this is real, and the truth is that I always thought of it as a game (and no, I don't mean the same way BEN seems to think of it as a game...), and being around people who don't think the same way has made me start to feel like it's real as well, and I have really bad anxiety problems as it is; believing that this is all real is going to make me afraid, deathly afraid, and I can't handle that. I don't want to start worrying about dark corners or jumping at every movement, and if I ended up hallucinating (which has apparently happened to multiple people who got too deep into it), I know myself well enough to know that I would probably end up doing something drastic in a desperate drive to "make the crazy stop". I don't want to leave, I really really really don't, but I worry about what could happen to me if I stay...I guess I didn't realize it until it changed, but I relied on the knowledge that it was just a story from the mind of some bored college kid, and I'm worried that the line might be starting to blur.

I might very well be just as convinced as ever, and the blur might just be my mind twisting my perception of things based on my fears and anxieties, but either way, it feels...
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:45 pm

Ky, I know how you feel. I have awful anxieties, phobias and ocd. I know it doesn't seem like it here, because I'm participating, but it wasn't until I was allowed to share my fears with people who understood that I started to feel better.

Kikren, I don't mean to sound heartless, but you need to talk to someone physical about that. Have you ever called Kids Help Phone? I have. They are amazing, not just for listening, but for giving you healthy, positive directions. They will only involve the police if you tell them that someone is going to do serious physical damage (such as wrist cutting) to you or themselves, or if murder has been threatened, and even then, they'll only involve authorities if you tell them about it. It's up to you.

You don't have to be nine to call KHP either. You can call until you're twenty one...and even then, they don't ask for your age.

If you're not seeking counseling or talking to someone who can help you, you really should hun. Okay?
I'm so sorry to hear about that. It's awful.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:56 pm

Okay, Kylinn, let me tell you, I know exactly where you're coming from.

I don't believe in the supernatural but I do have a vivid imagination and I have a tendency to make myself believe, even if I don't want to, that ridiculous stuff is real. Remember, you're just playing a game. I like to joke about it being absolutely real and when the ARG starts again for real, I'll be playing myself - someone who doesn't believe, but wants to help.

These idiots posing as us are trying to put us against one another and scare us. I don;t know why they're getting so worked up over a game but they are, don't let them get to you. Like toddlers, they're throwing tantrums. That's up to them.

Kikren - I'd follow Meek's advice, that's an awful situation to be in =[
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:22 am

@Ky- I do have a way to get out, but I'll explain that in a minute
@MeekO well if I had access to my phone...or any phone...I might try...
Now onto more venting:

Last year, I found my clique, so to speak, at school: Theater. I love it with more passion than anything and it has made many sleepless (but none are regretted) nights. Just a month ago, I auditioned for a play with my two instructors, Mr. D (oh the irony) and Mr. Mills. Now if there's anything I love more than theater itself, its the people. I love everyone in my class. We are a family and (answering Ky's responce) I love them more than I fear my mom and step-dad, and my real dad lives too far away. I know its kind of weird that something like an extracurricular activity would hold me back from going to live with my dad, but its just my state of mind. I got a part in the play and now I've been working my ass off for it, with little to no complaint from my (actual) family.

But recently I've encountered...problems. It's been a month into rehearsals and now I'm scared more than ever. My step-dad has gone psycopath and often talks to himself. He has also started calling me names like he never used to do (douchebag-dickhead sticks out the clearest), and he gets angry over the most trivial things. I have been dropping in my six weeks grades, and now I'm making high C's, but they act like I'm failing at everything. My step-dad the other day told me that I was being irresponsible because I was tutoring my friend through the pre-calculus homework. After that I asked what was so bed and he told me that "Just because [I] was failing, doesn't mean that [I] have to bring others down," and he took my phone. The next day, progress reports came out and I was making a 78 in US history (teacher gives only one paper and one test per six weeks) and a 76 in English (honestly I don't know). My parents had warned me about making lower than a B on my progress report and told me that if I did they would take me out of the play. What they didn't tell me is that they were going to take me out of Theater for good. And obviously I wasn't having that. Fighting ensued...Yelling arguing and the like...It felt so...GOOD! (I'm not sure if it's supposed to feel like that...but later I felt bad for feeling good) But now they say they're going to kick me out...and it feels like I'm losing a piece of me...It feels as if I'm breaking... and Ky while my dad may have a theater by him, I'm positive that I'll never find a teacher or friends as amazing as the people in my class. Just yesterday, during Speech and Debate, we were moving tables and I smashed my pinky finger on my right hand and broke it. I later told my mom and she grabbed it and pulled it all the way back, making me cry and beg for her to let go...when she let go...she was laughing...It has gotten to the point where I question if I love my family...or if they love me...

That's the end for now...I'll...I'll keep you posted... Sad


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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:28 am

I wish I had the chance to do theatre...I'm glad you do, though I still say it's not worth it -- there's most likely theatre near your dad too...

I get so worked up when people start talking about trust and being pitted against each other. It's like...I worry that if I say the wrong thing, if I make light of something like I tend to do, I'll be blackballed for turning against you guys and I really don't want that...I want to enjoy what-all's going on but when I don't take something as seriously, or when I try to rationalize things...I really don't want it to be a matter of trust and lies...I just want to play the game...I don't want to be ripped apart for not being all serious business when everyone else is...I joke around a lot, and I try to make things make sense to my atheistic mind, and...I don't want it to offend or upset anyone...I just...want to...I just...
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:40 am

Kylinn, I can understand how you feel. However, the thing is to not let this get to you. Don't picture BEN as a threat. Imagine you have a power or super ability that he or no one can possibly beat. That way, you should be able to calm yourself down and see that this is something to enjoy, not to fear (my favourite example of this atm is this video, seems to make me feel I could take any cartrige haunting spook on and beat the living daylights out of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHrGTSHV-qw).

Sorry if anything came out the wrong way, I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words :S

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In my case, its my worth as a team member thats causing me trouble. I can take on any fictional villian and come out on top, but the minute I try applying that to RL or being part of a team, I lose all ability to do anything.

I always feel like I'm the weakest link in anything I try and do. Even though I hope for the future and the succes of what I attempt, when I fail, it hits me pretty hard. I always feel like I've achieved nothing, gained nothing and therefore done nothing of note.

Even doing this ARG, I feel that any theory I want to mention or try out isn't worth the digital memory used to type out in the first place.

Despite being one of the oldest here, I still feel like a child compared to everyone else, and my skills and worth as a person don't match up.

This is why I tend to look negativily on things. If it goes wrong, then it was as I expected it to be. If it goes well and works, all the more power to me, right?

I'm gonna stop typing now. This is making me kinda depressed and I feel like I want to go sob quitely to myself in the corner... Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:43 am

^Noob, I know how you feel. I've had theories and thoughts that I've been too afraid to post in case you all laugh me out of here.

But I don't think that'll be the case; this is a good community with good members. If theories come under criticism they just need ironed out a bit. So just post away =]
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Kylinn
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:14 am

please someone talk to me
please someone talk to me
please someone
someone talk to me
talk
someone
please
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meek
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:19 am

Ky, hun, go check your messages okay? <3 It's okay. It's alright.
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:19 am

We're here Kylinn. Don't worry, we're listening.
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Kikren
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:44 pm

So i told you guys that I would keep you informed so I guess I will.

I'm being kicked out.

I probably won't be able to help you guys anymore...

I'm sorry

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meek
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PostSubject: Re: Place To Get Stuff Out (PLEASE READ UPDATED RULES)   Thu Dec 16, 2010 6:02 pm

Hey Kikren, wish I could really reach out to you. I'm so sorry about this. I hope it is for the better good.
Your parents sound like they have a LOT of shit to sort through.
I'll miss you a lot, Kikren. Sad You are so sweet. I hope you realize that!
Can't wait for you to come back, Kikren, I hope EVERYTHING in store for you is abundant with change.

</3
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