| Good Bye Day Four | |
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+7Soulless Dragon Katya rickamaru J Zalty Dimbo Necruta 11 posters |
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Necruta SPARTAAAA!!!
Posts : 311 Friendliness : 369 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2010-12-22 Age : 29 Location : the netherlands
| Subject: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:41 pm | |
| Hi everyone As some of you know I lack emotions, but since a few weeks some of them are coming back. You would think this is a good thing but it isn't, the emotions are breaking down a protective barrier I made to shield myself from bulling and such. But I think I need to explain other things before I talk about that You can see that as my soul Brown are people I don't know Red are people I do know (they think I don't care about them) Orange are friends and relatives (they think that i'm nice but quite) Blue are good friends and family (most of you guys are in this group) Green is me Yellow is also me I can see how this is confusing but let me explain. The yellow me is the 'real me or as most people refere to it the child inside yourself. As I said before I created a barrier to shield myself from bullies and such after a while it got worse so I decided that I would just ignore them and don't let them see how I feel. After about 4 years they stopped but the barrier grew so thick that /I/ couldn't get rid of it anymore. In that barrier I could see me I knew He was there but I couldn't get him out of there. So the barrier grew thcker and thicker and last year school sent me to the school psycologist and she thought it would be best if I went to a profesional psycologist. I haven't been there yet but since of IRL stuff the barrier has begun to crumble and now I feel anger-ish all the time, in a way that as soon as someone says something wrong that I will just RAEG but the barrier is still strong enough to prevent that. I feel sorry for the one(s) that are around me when the barrier breaks and get 8-9 years of emotions exploding in their faces. I want to make sure that I don't say anything that I don't mean so I will be leaving Day-four so that I'm sure that no one will get hurt because of me. I will make sure that all my chars in the RP aren't preventing the plot from going on. I will ask drae to remove my DM status and give it to the one with the second most votes which is Cat. I will however make a char for the Holders RP and post there since I know I need some sort of venting system which will be that char who I will create in such a way that He will always have the same-ish mindset as me. This is only intill I either get 'better' or if I think that I won't 'explode' every 5 minutes
Last edited by Necruta on Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:27 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Dimbo Chatterbox
Posts : 290 Friendliness : 399 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2010-12-12
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:45 pm | |
| Nec? I don't really... Understand, What happened? | |
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Zalty ➳ ➳ ➳ ┌( ⁰△⁰)┘
Posts : 3570 Friendliness : 3637 Reputation : 24 Join date : 2010-12-08 Age : 30 Location : Arkansas, usually
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:48 pm | |
| Well, I already told you what I thought of this in MSN, but I'll say it here for the sake of saying it here.
Nobody here, at least not the ones that have stuck with us all this time, would take any offense from anything you say, especially knowing about your situation. We're your second family, here. A family that chooses you, rather than one that is given you. We'll be here for everything, until your return. And after, of course.
I still wanna write that book! 8D | |
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J ➳ ➳ ➳ ┌( ⁰△⁰)┘
Posts : 3128 Friendliness : 2967 Reputation : 41 Join date : 2010-12-11 Age : 33 Location : Ohio, with all the other bat-shit insane Ohioans
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:05 pm | |
| I understand, but I'm going to miss you so much.
please be sure to keep in touch and if you ever, EVER need anything do not hesitate to call me on skype. I'm usually here and I always have time so really any time you wanna talk I'm here. | |
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rickamaru Demon Slayer (posted it to death)
Posts : 613 Friendliness : 459 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2011-05-18 Age : 34 Location : Digging a pit (Digging Digging Digging)
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:06 pm | |
| Hey Necruta. Believe it or not, i do understand what you are talking about here. I went through a similar hell in my school days as well. While i did eventually learn to hide my emotions through the process known as bottling them, sometimes that bottle would run over and i would lose control. Whether this be an emotional breakdown or just rage was a flip of the coin. It is hard to remove the mask that hides the real you. I am still struggling with it myself. Fortunately, i have only ever lost control of my rage once but i will never forget what happened as a result. Even though the person who recieved the brunt end of it has, i am still haunted by what i said... It's a slow process, opening yourself back up to the world and even though i've been chipping away for 4 years now, i still don't let many into the blue circle. Few people outside of that blue circle even know what i still hide away. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to ask. As Drae said, we're a selected family. Even though i am one of the newest members, i will help in whatever way i can. | |
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Katya SPARTAAAA!!!
Posts : 395 Friendliness : 260 Reputation : 2 Join date : 2011-09-02 Age : 32 Location : In My Mind Plotting The Inevitable Take Over Of The World
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:08 pm | |
| I'm right there with my brother. I'll support you and if you need anyone to make you laugh Ricka and I will try out bests. | |
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Soulless Dragon No-Life
Posts : 892 Friendliness : 886 Reputation : 1 Join date : 2011-03-08 Age : 29 Location : The Underworld
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:19 pm | |
| well cya, even though most wont realise i have alot that i share with you in those regards, WAY too much in fact, but anyway im not here to say whats wrong with me, i hope you live a happy life away from here and i also hope that you stick through the problems you have and find what you are looking for. I will remember our time we shared and cherish it for as long as i can remember it and i hope you do the same.
It was nice knowing you mate and i hope you live a happy life!!! | |
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Darc Booty Warrior
Posts : 963 Friendliness : 1107 Reputation : 6 Join date : 2010-12-21 Age : 34 Location : The stall of an Olive Garden bathroom.
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:25 pm | |
| Well Nec, it's been awesome chilling with you. If you ever need anything, or need someone to have an accident, you know who to call. BTW, I'm prepping the laxitives for when you ask for accidents. And here's the song I promised. I hope you enjoy it! http://soundcloud.com/renaisdarc/dark-cloud-departure-16-bit | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:35 pm | |
| Nec, I know I haven't talked to you much, but if you ever want someone to just vent at, feel free to hit me up. Building barriers around yourself sucks... but they suck even worse to take down :/
Just stay strong, kay? We'll be here when you get everything sorted out. |
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Commander Catspirit Galactic
Posts : 1987 Friendliness : 1935 Reputation : 42 Join date : 2010-12-09 Age : 535 Location : Kicking ass aboard the B.D.A Great Lion.
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Wed Sep 14, 2011 12:11 am | |
| Best wishes from the entire Battalion man, take care of yourself. I hope things get better for you soon
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KungpowPanda SPARTAAAA!!!
Posts : 354 Friendliness : 486 Reputation : 4 Join date : 2010-12-08 Age : 33 Location : Wherever I want to be.
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:14 pm | |
| Hey brother. I'm so sorry I'm late with this. I wish I stayed online yesterday. Maybe I could've talked to you some more, privately. But what's done is done, and I'm terribly sorry I missed you. I'm gonna say just one thing more, before I risk saying too much.
I love you bro, and when I get my computer fixed, I'm going to dedicate all my free time trying to get that hack I promised you, that I just couldn't find myself doing. I'll do my damnedest to get that Earthbound Hack out, just as a present for you bro.
HOLYSHIRT, CreepyPanda
P.S.: Don't forget to andbhuh. | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Thu Sep 15, 2011 3:28 pm | |
| By reading all this I just realised how I got the same problem. But I can't fight it back...
Anyway,best of luck to you if you manage to beat it,I already failed.
Good luck,maybe try to have fun and relax.
~A7ex. |
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TheLilacPilgrim Friend
Posts : 76 Friendliness : -1 Reputation : 2 Join date : 2010-12-10 Age : 34 Location : Scotland; come get me BEN >=]
| Subject: Re: Good Bye Day Four Tue Nov 01, 2011 7:38 pm | |
| No matter how you're feeling, we know any RAEG inflicted upon us isn't done on purpose. We can support you as much as you need us to, I'm sure.
Don't isolate yourself from a support network to save their feelings. If they need time away, they will walk away, but return later when you're calmer. Like IRL. Well, that is what I'm going to do.
I don't have a magic, fix-everything potion but I do know that you shouldn't isolate yourself further when, by your own design, you've made yourself pretty enclosed already. Does that even make sense? I hope so.
Hope you're getting the help you need. | |
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