The Fourth Day

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"part of me prefers just thinking Links a dumbass. if i wanted to summon the apocalypse and destroy Hyrule id built a little fence around myself and theres not a god damn thing he can do about it" - Naomi
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 Being a Tale of Bananas and Toilet Paper.

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Location : Ohio, with all the other bat-shit insane Ohioans

PostSubject: Being a Tale of Bananas and Toilet Paper.   Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:18 am

I challenged Drae to a write-off, he pussied out, Darc took his place and promptly took diarrhea as the theme. This was my entry:

I stared down into my bare hands with horror. This banana had no peel and I could feel my hands becoming stickier the longer I held the naked fruit. A bead of sweat dripped from my brow. What should I do? Where do I put it? No! I can't place it on the table, then that surface will be sticky. My one hope was to give this banana the peel it wasn't born with. I rushed to my bathroom, cautious not to bruise the tender fruit which had been placed in my care. What would provide a suitable coating for this unclothed fruit? Shampoo? No, I felt that would only make a larger mess. Toothpaste perhaps? It presented the same problem as the shampoo. I was about to rule out toilet paper when I recalled that the substance was an effective wrap once before. Last Halloween my five year old son had wanted to be a mummy. Yes, toilet paper was the answer to my problems. I started at one end of the fruit and worked my way around to the other. Alas! This one layer would not do the job properly. Surely a second time around wouldn't hurt. A third time would be more effective. I lost count of how many layers I had wrapped around the precious fruit when my wife opened the bathroom door. I could just imagine what she thought when she saw me crouched on the floor next to the almost empty roll of toilet paper, clutching a bundle, of the wrappings in my hands with a, now protected, naked banana nestled in the center. She raised an eyebrow and backed out of the room slowly. "I have done what must be done!" I shouted after her.

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OH SHIT YOU GUYS HARRISON FORD IS BACK FOR MY FANCY ASSORTED CHOCOLATES

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