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"part of me prefers just thinking Links a dumbass. if i wanted to summon the apocalypse and destroy Hyrule id built a little fence around myself and theres not a god damn thing he can do about it" - Naomi
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PostSubject: Badfic   Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:29 am

chpter 1 destiny
MY NAME IS GLORYA DELACEY HAVENWORTH AND I LIVE IN SKyrim with my mother and my father and I am seventeen years old my father is a fermer and we live in the small villij of ivarsteed i am a nord and i have sexy blond hair that goes down past my waist with shimmery gold highlights that catch the sun and rely pail skin with big sexy eyes that sparkle lik blue dimands and im real skinny but with big bobs that all da boiz be lookin at all the tim
i waz helpin my dad in the garden wen he assked me y i look so sad "i want to have adventure" i tell him nd he just chkles nd pats mah head "u r yong nd u r a grl u shuld git marred nd have babies nd let the boiz go out on advntire" sudinly a dragon swopped down and brethed fire on him. "OHNO DAAAAD!" I cried out as the drgon crshed in to mah houze i herd my mom screem in pane as the drgon kill her it was.........................ALDUN! "OH NO I YELLED WHY ALDUN COME TO MY HOUZE ND KILL MY FAMILY!" but it was too late, the hole villij was fire. "FUS RO DAH" i yelld and nocked aldun away from mah villij "holy shit!" i yelled i was drgonborn!
Chpter 2 whitrun
i jumed on mah mare Midnight Sunblazer who was milk white with blak arond the hoofs and a blak star mark on the face and i rod her to whitrun where i run to dragonreech "ivarsteed is become fire!" I yell ed "but y!" yell ed the YAR (I dun remember his name lol but he's the guy in chrge OF WHITRUN LOL) "IT WAS ALDUN HE AKTAKED IVARSTEED!" i yel ed "We mst go to war!" yell ed the yar "i will hlp i am drgonborne" I sad to him then yar said "ok" nd he given me armer and a sword. the sord waz made of silver nd had roses ingraved in it with rubies nd it sparkled in the lite "the sords name is dragon killer i give it to u dragonborn to hlp us in our war with aldun also James will be ur new houzekarl" i loked up at the sexiest boi i had evr sawed he had deep blue eyes filled with emotanal sorrow nd tortire nd a hawt bodii nd hair lik justiin beber (gawd he iz sooo hawt!!!!!11!!!!1111) "dragons kill ed my family aswell i will hlp u glorya!!!!!" i wanted him to fuk me gud rite thier on the table! but now waz not the tim we had to stup aldun! "u cn also hav breasehome" sad the yar "i'll have it fill ed with furnatire fer u
chptr 3 VAMPIRES!
me nd james wlked frum drgonreech t breesehom nd we waz walkin we got to no each otur butter nd i fond out hiz parents waz killed by BAMPIRES nd tats y he was so deprezzed but it's ok he sid as he tok my hand i hav u now i cold fel myslf blushin as my body strted to tingle all over when we git to breesehome i simile at the house the walls waz painted wite nd theyre was roses everywear nd a table full of food with silver goblets with roses carved in tem nd roses in a vas on teh table with a note that said "only teh best for teh dragonborn" i smiled at james and we went upstairs were their waz a bed with red nd wite rose petals laid on it i laid on the bed nd james started kissing my on my mouth I was nervous cuz id never gone this far with a boi before bt he waz so sxy nd i grabbed his shirt collar nd pulled him back on tp of me i culd fel him fingering my neck and it sent tingle all dwn my body but thn he pulled away sdenly "No lady!' he cried "it is not proper I am thy houzekarl nd thou art not marred me!" he run to his room cring nd i watched him go as i laid back on teh bed (hes all polit lik edward cullin bt dont't wory well hav sex soon i promis Wink) i went to bed tht nite dreamin of james nd whn i woke up he was sitting in a chair watching me sleep "you loked so beutiful i wanted to mak sure you were saf" he told me my heart skiped a beet he was so nice then we went outsde togeter to find the hole town waz killed by vampires "NO Y VAMPIRES KILL EVERYTHING!!!!!111!!!!1" JAMES YELL ED AND HIT HIS FIFSTS ON THE GROUND WIF A PASION "u shuld join teh dawngard" a gard tld us "we cn fight vampires togeter james" i sad nd he smiled a little bit "thou art correct lady" he said "let us kill thos monsters togeter"
chptr 4 DAWNGRAD
(AN LOL I NEVR DID THI QEST BT IM GOIN T RIGHT ABOT IT ENEWAAY BECUZ I LIK VAMPIRES!)
we went to teh fort were teh dawngrad waz nd we both join teh dawngrad teh two of us nd tey gave us kool looking armer i got silver armer that covered mah brests bt left sum clevege showing from my big bobs nd their waz roses pianted on teh armor to match dragon killer wof rubies nd dimonds on tem james loked sooo sexy in his armer witch was gold and sparkled in teh sunlite "u lok beutiful fair lady" james said nd i blushe i loked in teh mirror nd smiled i did lok pretty sexy thn we went outside nd their waz CAMPIRES EVERYWERE nd i did some flips nd ninja moves nd kiled tose vamps liek buffy TEN one talked me nd pinned me down "its ur turn!" he sneared nd he lened dow nd bit mah neck "u loked so sexy i just want to mak u liek me." sad teh vampire "NO Y U MAK ME A MONSTER LIEK U!" I YELLED AS TEH PAIN STRATED TO BURN ME ND TEN TEH VAMPIRE TOK OF MAH PANTS ND TOK MAH VIRGINTY "NOOOOOOOOOO I YELLED AGAN I WAZ SAVIN TAT FER JAMES!" teh vampire only lafed at mah pan nd ten james yeled "NOOOOOOOO LADY I AM SRY I FALLED U!" nd ten he KILLED teh vampire "james i fel so cold" i said as he piked me p nd carried me way frm all teh ded bampires nd bak to bresehom were he put me on teh bed nd watced over me whil i sleep liek edawrd cullen he waz soo sweet wen i wok up i waz vampire "lady plese mak me a bampire liek u so we cn be togeter" he sad "nooo james vampire kiled ur famly r u sur tis wat u want?" i said "yes" james saia so i sad "ok" nd bit him on teh neck, his blood tasted liek shugr nd he similed "tank u lady" he sad

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:38 pm

My brain just suffered a heart attack reading that.

Well done, J.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:59 am

here's the painful part....I'm not done yet.
This is a work in progress.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:22 pm

Chptr 5 oblivon
(AN lol hey guyz i got a frend to spell check mah story fer me (love you Scotty) so I hop its better now thnx)
me and james desided to get marred so we went to riften were the tempel of mara was at and i got dresses in my best gown and jewely the dress was mad of the finest silk and had a pluging neckline wif a corset design in the font and ten my best frind scotia (Scotty tis is u) braided my goldn sunlite hair in two log ropes before trowing my vale over my face the tiara on my hed was made f gold and had a ruby in teh middle f it wen it was time i was nervos about gtting marred but i new james loved me and we were gong to make beutiful vampire babies togeter i walked dwn teh ilse as teh piano played and culd see james standing by the precher waiting for me he smiled and i smiled back at him nd keep walking til i got to teh end of teh ilse and ten james tok my hands in his and teh precher started talking "deerly belovd we r gethered hear today to selerbate the joning f tese two people in holy matimony" (thnx fer tellin me how to spell matimony Scotty) after the precher was done talking he gave us r rings nd he said "u may now kiss teh bird" james tok me in his arms nd presed his lips hrd aganst mine and thn we wer stoped by teh sond of an earthqake tat shoke teh earth OBLIVON WAS OPEN ND ALL TEH DADRIK PIRNCE WAS COMING OUT ten tey crshed into teh temple of mara "NO! I TELLED AT THEM U RUIN MY WEDDING DAY!" nd ten they GRABBED JAMES ND STARTED TEKING HIM AWAY FORM ME "JAMES NO!" "HELP! TEH DADRIK PIRNCE R KIDNAP ME!" I WAS RLY MAD BECUZ TIS WAS SUPOSE TO BE MY WEDDING BT IT WAS ALL RUINED ND STUFF AND TEN I YELLED "NOOOOOOO!" ND LITENING SHOT OUT my hands at teh dadrik pirnces nd tey droped james nd i runned over to him "james r u ok? i asked him" "how u shot litening out of ur hands?" he sad "BECUZ SHE IS DADRIK QUEEN ND SHE IS MOR POWER TAN ALL!" said teh dadrick pirnces "WE MST TAK JAMES AWAY TO STOP HER!" tey sad nd ten tey garbed james again nd tok him away! "noooooo!" and i cride becuz tey got away nd put james in oblivon jail!
(AN lol clifhagner but dont worry ill get a new chptr up fast so u guyz no wat happnd nxt i hop teh spellnig is btter now)

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:32 am

Let's do a dramatic reading of this.
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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:15 am

(AN thx to Scotty fr doing teh speling agan)
Chptr 6 WAT IT MEENS TO BE QUEEN
i runned to oblivon were james was bein held captive by teh dadrick princes who were tortering him wit whips nd bondage his screems hurt me with ever time tey hit him i felt his pane "LET HIM GOOOOOOOOOOOO! I YELLED AT THE PRINCES YU R HURTING HIM!" james was bleeding nd he loked at me wif sad sorow in his eyes "lady y you come now tey take you aswell this was there plan all along." "they will not tak me my love" i said nd i kissed him. teh power of r love made me glow wif a brite lite tat blinded teh princes nd my dress grew longer nd seemed to flote lik i was under water or soething teh trnsfrmashun tok over me as teh power filed my body my hair grew long nd shine lik gold and a crown was placed on my head my dress turn pink nd was made of silk with a pink corset on teh top nd pure wite lace trim nd my shoes were also wite and spakled like stars i felt a pane in my back as big angle wings grew frm my shoulders with soft pink featers "NOOOOOO HER TRUE FORM IS WAKED!" TEH DADRICK PRINCES SCREEMED IN FEAR AS tey ran away "I will find YOU!" I swore as i watched them go i untied james "my lady you are truely radient i am thy servent oh great dadric queen" "lets go home my love" i said as i hugged him.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:47 am

How does one top a magical girl transformation of such epicness? With a poorly written sex scene of course! You can tell the author understand quality sex scene writing because she uses the word penis instead of dancing around it with all these "gigglesticks" and "thingies".





chptr 7 hunnymoon night
(AN spechel thnx to my frind robyn fr spellchek tis time, see u wen u get back from vaca scotty gurl Wink)
me nd james road home on teh back of my new dragin that i was gived for being Dadrick queen. his name was GOLDINSCALES cuz his scale was made of gold. when we got back to breezehome james carryd me upstars to teh bedrom since we got marred tat day it was out hunnymoon night so we were goin to hav secks ;)he layd me don on teh bed nd pinned me don "my godess he said smilng it is my honer to serve thee" he kissd me on teh lip befor movin his mout don to my neck nd ten he KISSED MY BELLY i wrapped my legss arond his hips nd he began to trust his hips into me as we both sat up nd he put his arms around me nd i grabbd his face nd kissd his mouth rechin my hands down i startd to unbutton his jeans without my lips leeving his and he tok off my BRA WITH HIS STRONG HANDS "YES I CRID AS HE LAYD ME BAK OH JAMES DO IT YES!!!" I SCREEMED AS HE PENETRATD ME WITH HIS PENIS "OH JAMES DO IT BABY! DO MEEEE!" "OH LADY, MY GODESS" JAMES YELLD AS WE BEGUN TO DO IT HADRER WEN HE ORGASMED ND POURD HIS SEED into me nd ten rolld over i cuddled into his arms as out sweaty bodys were pantnig togeter "i love thee my lady" "i thoght i lost u today james i crid im sooo happy u r here BUT WHAT DO WE DO ABOT TEH DADRIK PIRNCE! TEY WILL BE BAK!" i stated to tear up "we will go to solutid tomorow lady nd tere we will seek aids" i feel asleep in his arm as he comfroted me.

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Last edited by J on Tue Feb 18, 2014 7:23 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:36 pm

You had to bring me into it, didn't you =P I'll admit that's one of the better bad sex scenes I've read.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:48 am

AN: ok srsly? u guyz r gettin dum, tis is not a troll fic dere r not evn trolls in my stry but if u guyz srsly want sum i can mak dem fight a troll butt i rly dont see teh point nd no i did not rite dis "bad" on prupose if u dont liek it u dont hav to red it lots of peple tink tis story is god! ok?! tanks for all teh god revoews from evryone esle... again speshul tanks to robyn fer teh spellen
Chptr 8 teh trool in whitrun
I woke up snugled in james arms nd went DOWNSTARS TO MAKE BREKFAST FOR TEH TWO OF US I STRATED MAKING EGGS ND TOAST ND BACON ND POTATOS WHen james came downstars to his hair was all messy nd he eyes were still halfs closed wen i said god mornin nd he said good mronin back nd ten he kisse me on teh fourhead "I mad braekfast i said i hope u liek it" "it loks wundrefull my lady thou art so talanted" he kisse me agan nd we ate braekfast togeter suddenly we hard a loud rukus oitside "TERE IS A TROLL ATACKIN WHITRUN!" SOMEBOY SCREEMED ND I GRABED MY BOW ND JAMES GRABED HIS SORD ND WE RAN OITSIDE TO SE A FROST TROLL ATTAKING WITERUN IT HAD SHAGY WITE HARE ND IT RORED RLY LOUD AS IT STRATED RUNNIN TOARD DRAGINSREECH "we hav to stup it! i said as I tok james hand nd we ran to witerun togeter wen teh troll was on teh brige nd i shot an arow at its back it turned round nd strated slowly waking towads me "get behind me my lady! i shall portect thee!" james yelled nd stood in front ov my i screemed as he ran toard teh beast nd wit his big muscles flexed he hit teh troll on the hed stabbing it in its thrid eye teh beast howled nd struk james nd noked him DOWN "NOOOOO I YELLED ND RAN TWADS JAMES PLEESE BE OK!" "get out of here lady it is not safe for thou i do not tink i will make it" he closed his "i fell so tired but im happy i knew u lady" he layed his hed back nd tere were tears in his eyes wit a rage i screemed nd a light shown round me like a candel at first flicering inside my soul nd growing outwads til it was brite enouf to blind teh troll nd he fell off teh brige nd drowned (cuz he didn't know how to swin) nd wen teh lite went away i was looked like a DADRICK QUEEN nd james was alive "TEH TOWN IS SAVD FROM TEH TROLL DADRICK QUEEN GLORYA SAVED US ALL HOORAH!" TEH PEOPLE OF WITERUN YELLED ND TEN TEH YAR OF WITERUN CAME OUT OF DRAGINSREECH WERE HE WAS HIDIN FROM TEH TROLL ND ANONCED TO EVRYBODY "TODAY IS NOW A HOLIDY TO CELEBRTE GLOYA SAVING US ALL FRM TEH TROLL! I WILL PLAN A FEAST!"
(AN: tere! r u peple happy noaw tat u hav ur troll fic? i hop so now tat tat side stry is over we can go bak to teh main stry i hope u all lieked it since u wanted it soo bad)

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sun Mar 02, 2014 11:08 pm

Hey guys if you wanna see this keep going please read the story here as well as reading the official Fourth Day Exclusive Preview: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9881452/1/Queen-of-the-sky

Maybe share that link around the web as well if you feel like it.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sat Mar 08, 2014 3:19 am

http://pastebin.com/xr8ZUNrH a bonsai'd version of this fic, for those of you who didn't think it was stupid enough.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Mon Mar 17, 2014 6:23 pm

Here you go eager readers, chapter 9, and before you ask, no, it doesn't have a definitive end on accident.

(AN srry i havnt updatad in a wile james u CHEETING SON Ov A BICH HOW CULD U LEEVE ME FR HEATHER I HATE U BOT ND I HOP U DIE! tnx robyn for allteh good reviews nd fr helpin me wif teh spellen)
it was a warm sumer day wen james nd i decided to try nd visit teh greybeerds tey were teh wisest pple in all of skrim nd we were goin to ask tem wat it means fr me to be dadrick queen we strated climing teh mountan to teh troat of teh wolrd wen sudennly a cave bear cam out nd attacked us nd it ripped james head off "noooooooo i yelled" (haha awsome serves u right james) i was very sad (but im nut) nd i cradled james head in my hands nd crid "he was my one tru love who will i have now i asked an i made my way to the troat of teh world alone teh greybeerds saw me "draginborn come in nd we will tech u teh way f teh voice" tey taght me new

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Sat Mar 29, 2014 8:34 am

i tok james head home nd put it on teh fireplac "Lady u r dadrick queen heal me nd we will be togeter forever i prmise" he said "U NED TO TINK BOUT WAT U HAV DONE I YELLED AT HIM I WAS VIRGAN WEN I MET U ND NOW LOK AT WERE WE R i cride james i lov u but how culd u do tis to me i gave u everyting u want!" "lady pls thou art tee most beutiful i will never leeve u again" he asked i left teh house nd james head sittin on teh firplace nd went for a walk james cant walk anymoe he just a hed nd he has to sit on my firplace nd stare at teh spot were we had secks on teh rug nd i went to hav a drink at inn in witrun wen a sexy kajit men waked up to me "hello" he sad in his sexy cat voice "i couldnt help to notic u r teh most beutiful woman i ever seen" he said nd he put his hand on mah boobs nd i blushe he was soo sexy wif orainge fur and a fluff tale his sexy cat eyes locked into mine "tank u" i said nd we kissed nd i tok his hand nd we hid under teh table in teh middle of teh rom nd he TOOK OFF MY SHIT AND MESSAGED MY BOOBS WILE I UNBUTONED HIS PANTS he had a vry big cat penis nd i gasp as he put it in me (im not a slut i swer but gloya is rly sad rite now nd teh kajit is bein nice to her) i rapped me legs arond him nd huged him wile he trust into me "OH YES DO IT TO ME! I SCREEMED AS WE CAM AT TEH SAME TIME ND HE ROLED OF OF ME IN BED nd i new james culd hear us frm downstairs nd i smile as i rolled over in teh covers nd huged Druazel again "THAT WAS AMZING!!!!!!!!!!! I YELL SO JAMES CULD HERE ME WE SHULD DO TAT AGAIN" "im redy wen u are" Druazel said sexily nd ten he was on top of me gain nd warm felling of plesure wassed over me ass he messaged my beasts AGAIN! nd ten he slapped my ass nd i screemed in plesure "hit me gain i yelled" nd he hit me gin nd we came for a se 2 tim "oh yeah! I yelled" nd ten druazel fell sleep beside me i hugged him.

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:18 am

A kind-hearted soul at FF offered to help me with my story:

Would it be okay if I edited your chapters for you? If not its totally fine. I won't correct any of the mistakes if you don't reply. Sorry if i'm intruding, I'm not trying to be offensive you seemed kind of worried over the grammar and spelling itself so I thought I could fix it for you. [This isn't being pushy or intrusive is it?]

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PostSubject: Re: Badfic   Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:37 am

Round 2, new victim, Harry Potter.

AN: This story is based on Harry Potter and the hp world all characters beside my OC, Misty Rose Silvermoon belong to J.K. Rowling. No flames pls this is my first story on fanfiction.

Chapter 1- A dark rose in a dreary world
Hi, my name is Misty Rose Silvermoon, I am 17 years old and I am a student at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy. I was born a pureblood but my parents died in a car crash and I was raised by foster parents Jim and Mary. I have long pail blonde hair with Cerulean streaks in it that falls down my back like a silvery waterfall and big eyes like midnight purple with flecks of white in them that look like the stars of a midnight sky my body is lythe and slender like I'm skinny enough to be anorexic but I'm really not (I eat like a pig but I just don't gain weight lol) but I have supple c-cup breasts that stick out of my slight frame and get lots of unwanted attention from stupid boys and make the girls at school make fun of me I always seem to smell like lavander and basil I have a heart shaped face and a cute button nose and a weird birthmark on my right wrist just under my palm its shaped like a creasent moon and a matching one on my left list thats shaped like a star. I don't know how I got them I was just born with them but I always thought they must mean something. I am very deep and in my free time I like to read old literiture like Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights. I've always been looking for a man like Romeo, someone who could see beyond my big boobs and my beautiful face and hair and know that I'm really a deep person inside and love me for my personality. Loos don't matter to me as much as personality and I want my personality to matter to a guy before I fall in love with him. I get so tired of all my classmates getting into shallow relationships that never last very long and then they move on to the next person and tell them that they're "deeply in love" I don't think any of my classmates know what love is anymore. I want to live in a time when saying I love you really meant something like in Pride and Prejudice all of my classmates are stupid and shallow and only care about looks but looks aren't important to me.
I was sitting in the Slytherin common room reading Romeo and Juliet by the fire in a green armchair.
“Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-browed night;
Give me my Romeo; and, when I shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night...”
I sighed and hugged the book to my chest happily as I dreamed of a Romeo. Someone deep and special who could truly love me for me. "What are you reading there nerd?" Becca, a brunette preppy girl and the leader of my greatest tormentors snatched the book out of my hand. "Ew isn't this written by some old guy?" asked Chelsea, one of Beccas posse.
"Its Shakespear!" I said defensevely "And he's not 'some old guy' he's a genious!"
Becca laughed at me and glanced at the fire. "What if I were to throw you'r book in here? You wouldn't mind would you? and it's keep the common room nice and toasty." She sneered at me and started walking towards the fire. Chelsea and Julia held both my arms and made me watch as she walked slowly to the fire, smiling wikedly at me the whole time. "Fight for it mudblood how bad do you want your book?"
"I'm not a mudblood!" I screamed.
"What's going on here?" A sexy male voice asked and my book and I were both dropped to the floor safely. I crawled over and grabbed it, hugging it close to my chest before looking up at my savior. It was............DRACO MALFOY! "I believe I asked you whats going on here?" he said demandingly.
"Well...we were...I mean...Oh come on Draco it's just a bit of fun!" Becca faltered defensevely/
"It didn't look like fun for Misty Rose!" he said pointing to me on the floor. I was fighting back the tears that threatened to stream down my face, no one had ever defended me like this before. "Leave her alone from now on." He sneered at Becca and her posse cowered behind her.
"Y-yes Draco she stuttered and then she ran off towards the girls dormitory.
Draco offered me a hand to help me up. "Are you alright?" he asked and I nodded, biting my lip shyly. Draco kissed my hand. "Don't listen to them, they think they're better than everyone else but they're not they're just a bunch of bullies. You're smart and kind and pretty. They're just jealous of you." He kissed my hand again and then walked me to my room in the girls dormatory. "Will I see you in Hogsmead tomorrow?" he asked me and I nodded. Jim and Mary hadn't signed my permission slip but I had other ways of getting into Hogsmead in the weekends. and I made it a point to see Draco there. He left me for the night and I layed in my bed thinking about how he stood up for me, maybe he could be my Romeo?
AN: What do you guys think? Is it good? Review pls.
~Thnx xXMisty RoseXx

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OH SHIT YOU GUYS HARRISON FORD IS BACK FOR MY FANCY ASSORTED CHOCOLATES

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